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Pun Gents :: Original* Puns

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*Except where indicated, all jokes on this site were written by The Gents
40th annual O Henry Punoff in Austin Texas is May 13, 2017
The Pun Gents were honoured be judges and Punsters of the Year (POTY) recipients at the 40th Annual O. Henry Punoff world championships Saturday, May 13 in Austin!

Visit punoff.com.

See Pun Gent Pat's previous Punoff pun routines.


08/07/17

I come from a family of warmongers. I am belli bellicose to them.

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08/06/17

Puns about feminism are a setback for women’s glib.

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08/05/17

At the United Nations Conference on Poultry in Pecking, China, several accords were discussed, including a complicated capon-trade system. But as the cluck was winding down on the agreement, many nations cried fowl, arguing that capon-trade would only lead to more hen-some profits for agribusinesses, and real progress would be nothing but chicken feed. In order to lay down their yolks, developing nations staged a coop! Their leader made a speech, saying “When all people, white and dark, meat, there is hope.” This democratic gesture inspired everyone, even nations whose broil kings were in attendance. But the cynical members of the global press downplayed the developments,  just drank a lot of Wild Turkey and got totally basted. #classicpun-011026

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08/05/17

I love it when hipsters speak bad English. Please, kombucha the language!

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08/04/17

I feel the Death Star blows up planets for Alderaan reasons.

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08/04/17

So… I beat my boss over the head with a pie chart. And they charged me with a graph-aided assault.

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08/03/17

I can’t stand my spouse’s family and she can’t stand mine. We’re kin dread souls.

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08/02/17

What did Queen Victoria say to the ostrich?

We are not emus.”

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08/01/17

By fed oral law, all food must be eaten via the mouth.

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07/31/17

There’s too much pickled cabbage in my fridge! A bit of an overkrauting problem.

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