If I said ‘No more Monica Lewinsky jokes, please!’ would you detect a hint of cigargasm?
They released The Necklace in Bollywood. It was a Hindi pendant film.
Nomads are the calmest people.
Lining up to urinate is pee-queue-liar behaviour.
NED: Hear about the mafioso loan shark who killed the Swede?
ED: Really? He must have had a Sven debtor!
Eating edamame is easy. You will surely suck seed.
NED: St Patrick’s day is 10 months away. Should I work on my Irish accent?
ED: No, if it ain’t brogue, don’t fix it.
I was kicked in the balls by a Cockney.
What’s most important to a comedian?
Quality of laugh.