Let us not speak of my failure to open a jar. After all, I have pried.
When the President of Harvard elected to fumigate the entire university, people accused him of having loused his faculties.
Lindt has a new chocolate ball; they call them Cocoanuts.
They make tiny submersibles these days that are smaller than a mouse. They’re known as submurines.
I would prostitute myself for the chance to join a radical Jewish sect. That’s right, I Lev Tahor.
The renegade employee who defecated in an aquarium was accused of sharking his doodies.
The monks kicked the priests out of their choir because they couldn’t carry a tunic.
I made an mp3 of my car slowing down. It was a record braking event.
My dad tried to fuel his car with Viagra. Erected pretty bad. Though I also heard the AAA is trying to pass off Viagra as fuel. I think they’re stiffing their members with that one! The cops pulled me over and said ‘Here, penis cup.’ Also, Viagra has a new celebrity spokesman. That’s right: Randy Johnson.
Some South Americans visited Italy, and the country’s beauty made them cry. I think they were Venice wailin’.