"BAD TASTE WARNING": If you are a midget, and think you've heard them all, well you haven't heard these!

Midget puns are definitely the lowest form of humour. (play on words)

In North America midgets will kiss your ass, but in Europe they kiss you on both cheeks! (pow)

I argued with a midget today. We just weren't seeing thigh-to-eye.

I want to set you up with a midget I know. You'd be great with him; he's just your tyke.

Why don't midgets drive on the interstate? They're afraid of the tall booths.

All midgets dream of marrying an Itallian.

Midgets are not very tallerant people.

What's a midget's least favourite movie? Vertical Limit.

Why did the midget smoke up? He wanted to get high.

Puns about midgets are real growners.

Hear about the inaugural Midget-Spinning Competition? It was nicknamed Whirl Dwarf One.

The midget was in detox. He was addicted to dwarfine.

The economic impact of the new shopping centre for midgets was rather mini-mall.

Does the Midgellan Constellation contain a lot of dwarf stars?

Did you spot my friend the midget? Yes, but I don't gnome very well.

Hear about the biography of the midget chimney sweep? It was written under a gnome de plume.

Which linguist was a midget-eating cannibal? Gnome Chompsky.

A midget who fakes skin boils is bit like a leper-con.

The ship full of midgets came in. They were in the harbour, hanging out by the dwarf.

Which African country is populated by pygmies? S'malia.

Wow - our stock of midget puns grows by the minute!

Do midgets get a runtal car?

"Hold on! You can't make these jokes! I mean, - wait just a diminuitive!"

What do forks and midgets have in common? They're both tiney.

What does a midget yell on a rollercoaster? "Wee!"

The midget politician was always miniskirting the issues.

How do you kill a midget? With a wee-wacker.

They looked for evidence of midgets on Mars. But they didn't find squat.

Midget sprinters: they can run but they can't height.

Midget infomercial: "Wait, that's not tall!"

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