"BAD TASTE WARNING": If you are a midget, and think you've heard them all, well you haven't heard these!

What's a midget's favourite cheese? Stiltin'.

Hear about the midget revolt? It was a violent downrising.

Midget transsexuals often get short-changed.

Do midgets play the stocky market?

A midget with no legs: an imputee.

How can you upset a midget? Just by saying 'high'.

Hear that midgets are running rampant out west? They made a movie of it: Fear of Low Things in Las Vegas.

Joke all you like, but midgets enjoy a remarkable smallity of life.

The grouchy midget wouldn't grow to any lengths for anybody.

Some midgets seem to find out everything. They've got their ear to the ground.

Favourite midget band? Men Without Heights.

Hear about the hardworking midget who could never get a raise? Then his car broke down so he asked for a boost.

Favourite midget movie: Get Shorty.

Favourite documentary: Super-Size Me.

Favourite rock band: Me-tall-ica

Midget gigolos have an awful lot of short comings.

What do you call a man who's talking to a midget? Neal.

How can one ascertain the height of a midget, when he's not around? Easy - go to the lab and examine his stool.

Midgets are efficiency experts - they've seen a lot of waist.

Three words: Bone a petite.

Midgets planning for a wedding have to shrimp and save.

Hear about the dyslexic midget who loved Mexican food? "Because," he said, "it's a lada inches!"

Most midgets get a miniscule education.

Was the midget upset at his forced 'heightening' operation? Yes, he was disruntled.

Check out that good-looking midget - she's a real squattie!

What's a midget's favourite adhesive? Squatch Tape.

What's the most sensitive part of a midget's body? The smaller of their back!

Midgets make the best movie stunt men.

What's the most embarrassing thing for a midget? A ladder infection.

Some midgets are geniuses. When I talk to them I feel quite stooped.

Midget jokes are very be-littling.

Midget magicians employ slight of hand.

Midgets just aren't on the up and up.

What's the lowdown on that midget?

The Midget Union staged a work lowdown.

Midgets are underemployed - they're always for higher!

Favourite midget song? It's Hard Out There For An Imp.

Hear about that midget terrorist threat - Small-Qaeda? When they blow themselves up everyone feels the imp-pact. They also tend to fight using small arms fire.

I refuse to go to a midget tailor - I don't like half-measures!

I went to a midget bar. I was horny, and looking for some hot fraction.

Midget Playboy? Hugh Halfner.

Are midgets against proportional representation? (not a really a pun)

When the Midgets won the World Cup, they played "Wee are the Champions".

The Midget King had a very short rule.

When midgets fight, they do it with honour: nano a nano.

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