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Pun Gents :: Original Pun of the Day For older Puns of the Day, see the Archives. RSS feed:  (Click here for subscription instructions)12/31/2004 What tragedy occurred when the discoverer of radium served her pet a caffeinated beverage meant for equines?
Curie horse-tea killed the cat. 12/30/2004 What do you call it when a French psychoanalyst falls on the winter ice?
A froidian slip of course! 12/29/2004 Why did the flower seller expand his shop?
Because business was blooming! 12/28/2004 Was Ms. Ciccone snooty even before she became famous?
Yes - b/c she was a pre-Madonna. 12/27/2004 12/26/2004 Do dominatrixes always work in teams?
Yes - pervs of the leather flog together. 12/25/2004 What do you get if you sit too long on an outer-space toilet?
Asterrhoids. 12/24/2004 The Italian phone company didn't worry when invoices to the capital weren't sent out all at once - because Rome wasn't billed in a day. 12/23/2004 Which firm demolishes houses in the simplest possible way?
Occam's Razers. 12/22/2004 What do you call a database of prisoners' wigwams?
A table of con tents. 12/21/2004 Who do they call when a demon needs a personal trainer?
The exercist! 12/20/2004 Why did Socrates always keep his dough yeast-free until inspection?
Because the unexamined loaf is not worth leaven. 12/19/2004 What Nancy Sinatra said when she heard Donald Trump had hired a dozen supermodels to cook Chinese food:
"Wow, D's beauts are maids for wokking!" 12/18/2004 Why should you just defecate in your hands if you really have to go?
Because a turd in the hand is worth poo in the tush. 12/17/2004 Did you hear about the diplomat who skipped out on Thanksgiving dinner to negotiate an Eastern European territory swap, and ended up getting Hungary for Turkey? 12/16/2004 Why did the soldier scream as he carried burning rubble from the backpacker's hotel?
Because he was taking hostel fire. 12/15/2004 Why did the tailor kick the man out of his shop?
Because he was deemed unsuitable! 12/14/2004 When the Montreal Canadiens invited Pat and Rhain to the arena to tell some jokes, they thought, "Wow, this can't be Hab-punning!" 12/13/2004 Sir Isaac Newton, upon watching a large crowd of peasants pointlessly measure the duration of a speech about wheel rods, announced with ridicule - "mass-timed axel oration equals farce!" 12/12/2004 Why did the gadget lover praise the Lord when the PDF guide for his digital camera successfully opened?
Because the e-manual had come! 12/11/2004 Why does it not matter when Germans scratch their butts?
Because ass-itch in time saves nein. 12/10/2004 Four words to describe the war in Iraq: it's Sad, Damn Huge Shame
12/09/2004 What do French cannibals eat for breakfast?
Hommelettes! 12/08/2004 What did Philip II of Macedon say when his son refused to give up the cheese-slicer to the maid?
"Alex, hand her the grate!" 12/07/2004 Why should you face death by firing squad instead of running a marathon?
Because it's better to be strafed than sore-kneed. 12/06/2004 Why is this web site better than sex?
Because the pun is mightier than the 's'-word. 12/05/2004 Q. Would your father rather tend to his marijuana grow-op, or sing children's songs?
A. Pop hoes the weed soil. 12/04/2004 Did you hear the pun about the crotch?
It's a real groiner. 12/03/2004 Never insult the patriarch of a vietnamese soup restaurant - it would be a pho pa.
12/02/2004 Why does rubbing your hair with vinegar give you head lice?
Because he who acetates is loused. 12/01/2004 Did you hear about the guy with a lisp who went to an art film about the sewing industry, but couldn't comprehend all the thimbolism? For more Puns of the Day, see the Archives. |
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