|
Pun Gents :: Original Pun of the Day For older Puns of the Day, see the Archives. RSS feed:  (Click here for subscription instructions)2/28/2005 How do you brooch the subject? Stick a pin in their I! 2/27/2005 Why are all monks promiscuous womanizers? Because they've taken a vow of chase-titty! 2/26/2005 Why is it filthy droids end up doing all the work? Because a washed 'bot never toils. 2/25/2005 What did Tonto put on his sushi when undergoing cancer treatment? Chemo-wasabe! 2/24/2005 Is Billy Idol satanic? Yes - Mony is the root of all evil. 2/23/2005 You're lucky if the composer of the Hungarian Rhapsody makes your acquaintance - you can add him to your Franz Liszt! 2/22/2005 Where in the Bible does Jesus bequeath his woodworking tools? The Axe of the Apostles! 2/21/2005 Man cannot live on bread alone? Nonsense! As the Beatles famously sang, 'All You Need Is Loaf'. 2/20/2005 Why is the crime rate on Canada's East Coast so high? Because the thieves never get cod! 2/19/2005 Which rocker is famous for his sugary ballads? Bon-bon Jovi! 2/18/2005 Hear about the businessman who spent his days combining chickens? He wanted to make a hen-sum profit! 2/17/2005 Hear about the new gardening equipment manufactured by Black and Decker? It's cutting hedge! 2/16/2005 Why does a dirty old man chase after girls who have had liver transplants? Because he likes them new-bile! 2/15/2005 Does a glassmaker with a gambling addiction suffer from win-dough pain? 2/14/2005 What's a horse's favourite Beatles song? 'Hay Chewed.' 2/13/2005 Her blonde hair made her look so fat, she decided to dye it. 2/12/2005 The Vatican ordered that the corpse of every future saint be blown to bits by artillery fire -- "Because," said the Pope, "they must be cannonized." 2/11/2005 Where do you buy sarcastic pots? At a snide wok sale! 2/10/2005 What kind of vehicle would a seahorse drive?
A Fjord Bronco! 2/09/2005 Why can prostitutes never be priests?
Because they're lay people! 2/08/2005 What do you call an octopus with no arms?
An octogon! 2/07/2005 Why did the cannibal look forward to his trip to Europe? Because he had a Swede tooth. 2/06/2005 If Buddha were reincarnated as a lobster - would he say the path to nirvana lies in renouncing one's shellfish desires? 2/05/2005 The skin clinic's online presence finally returned after a period of reconstruction. The dermatologist congratulated the webmaster, saying "Well this is a site for psoriasis!" 2/04/2005 Which of Salman Rushdie's wife's accessories prompted a fatwa?
Her satanic purses. 2/03/2005 If Scrooge invented a mutton sandwich, would he call it a baa hambugger? 2/02/2005 What did the out-of-work doctor say?
"Patients is a virtue!" 2/01/2005 Why did the pregnant woman spit up her baby?
Because she was expectoring a child! For more Puns of the Day, see the Archives. |
  |
