Dear Pungents, puns about strippers please. ~Sophie, Luton, England

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Do strippers charge customers by the guy rate?
2. Be careful getting involved in stripping—there are a lot of poleitics.
3. It's hard to get into stripping—the positions are very clothes'd off.
4. Strippers can't play guitar. They're missing their G-string.

Dear Pungents, I need a bowling team name. The team consists of two guys and two girls and we are in the architecture field. ~Fred, Dallas, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Strike First
2. Lane in Ruins
3. Bowl Faced Lies
4. Balls to the Walls
5. Architects of De Spare

Dear Pungents, a pun for a a friend's 25th birthday. She is a great fan of Scrabble and a part-time go-go dancer. ~Jason, New York City

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Letter do what she wants
2. Spell binding
3. Triple-Whored Score
4. Arse and Letter

Dear Pungents, we need a name for our bowling team. We work for the Ontario Works office in Norfolk County. Any assistance would be appreciated. ~Janice, Simcoe, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Get Folked
2. After Works Activity
3. Strike Workers
4. Workers on Strike
5. Spare Workers

Dear Pungents, a pun about psychologist suffering from jet lag. ~John, Galway, Ireland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. My brain is totally Freud.
2. I'm not as Jung as I used to be.
3. I'm having trouble getting over id. (c/o Kevin De Souza)

Dear Pungents, I'm doing a presentation on the ethics of gene patents, so a few puns with 'gene' or 'patents' would make good slide headers. ~Alvin, Deland, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Your patent looks good in those genes.
2. Genes that are too restrictive can make you impatent.
3. Breaking patent law is the KISS of Death, aka Gene Summons.
4. Tight genes accentuate DNA.
5. Act 1, Gene 1

Dear Pungents, a name for school cafeteria cooks, please. ~Linda, Lumberton, MS

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Animal Gruelty
2. Stew dense
3. Souper Intendants
4. Ingredientertainers

Dear Pungents, we are a chartered accounting firm (KPMG) that needs a name for the company slo-pitch team. ~Curtis, Kelowna, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Don't Mess with Taxes
2) The Fiscal Specimens
3) Team Gross
4) Debtor up!
5) Escrow Yourselves
6) Champions of FIFO
7) Long Drive to the GAAP
8) Junk Bonds

Dear Pungents, a genome-sequencing-related softball team name please! ~Purnima, Boston, MA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Allele Leaguers
2) The DNAsty
3) Genome Runs
4) DeoxyRBIboses (ack that's pretty bad)

Dear Pungents, my uncle, Pembroke Hart, recently passed and I will be saying a few words at his service. He loved puns and I want to end my speech with one in his honour. He was a geologist and amateur star gazer. He was loved by many and had a kind heart. Can you help me? I think Hart and heart are definitely in the pun. Thanks! ~Laura, Annandale, Virginia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) He was a geologist. Underneath the many layers is how you get to a man's Hart, after all.
2) I'm left Hart-broken.
3) He was all heart. And a Hart act to follow.
4) He loved puns. Harty Harty Har.
5) He also loved to stare at the heavens through his telescope, as the stars illuminated the sky. I guess you'd say he had a light Hart.