What ancient Celtic cookbook tells you when your McBurgers are ready?
The book of the Done Cow.

The ancient Irish phone book?
The book of Calls.

Andrew from Dugald:
Apiary Redux: who always makes the hive look like a pigsty?
Leave Clutter Bees.

Sign on the wall of IRS HQ in Houston: “Don’t Mess With Taxes“
Why you’ll never see a crowd in Dubya’s home state: “Don’t Mass with Texans“
The army dictates that soldiers from the lone star state have to eat with their own kind: “Don’t Mess with Texans“
When in Dallas, never point out that your service technician has plumber’s butt: “Don’t Mess with Tech’s Ass” (in Montana, ‘twould be plumber’s butte)