Puns on Demand

Dear Pun Gents, we're making t-shirts to advertise our 3-D yearbook, and need a pun on the back to get people talking. ~Adam, Duluth, GA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Our students are multi-dimensional.
2. Life begins at three-D.
3. What's weirder than a 3D yearbook? A graduating cylinder!

Dear Pun Gents, I need a scientific pun for the word 'mole'. ~Ashley, Sacramento, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Avocado's Number: The amount of particles in a guaco mole.
2. Those who study moles have compound interests.
3. Avogadro claimed to have cured acne–by showing that, even if you had 6.02 x 10^^23 zits on your face, they are still just the size of one mole.

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun about wedding photographers! ~Monica, Santa Monica, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The bride and groom deserve to be shot!
2. The bride shows a lot of composition
3. I wouldn't Portrait this day for anything.
4. Wedding photographer's favourite flowers? Posies.

Dear Pun Gents, I'm writing a term paper on cochlear implants and need some puns for the titles of different sections. Anything about cochlear implants, signal processing, or the history of them. ~Krista, St. Louis, MO

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for a company Halloween-costume contest. We're two girls dressed in softball uniforms; what can we be? ~Lisa, Chicago

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bat the Bone
2. Bleacher Blondes
3. The Hosox

Dear Pun Gents, a pun about popcorn. ~Isabella, San Francisco

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. 'Pop' literature is often described as Orvillian
2. Punsters tend to pop corny jokes.
3. I microwaved it for hours but it wouldn't pop. That's pretty hard corn!

Dear Pun Gents, I need a good team name for my school dodge-ball tournament. Any dodge-ball puns? ~Jimmy, O'Fallon, MO

Dear Pun Gents, something to do with Islamic terrorists and music….maybe techno? ~Joe, London UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Why techno? What's wrong with "La Bomba"?
2. Iraq and Roll
3. Starbucks is selling terrorist albums. Enjoy one with a nice decap cappuccino.
4. Too Legit Tikrit
5. Biggie Somalis?
6. It's the All Jazz Era!

Dear Pun Gents, I need a team name for some ladies in their forties going to Florida for a tennis tournament/ladies weekend.  ~Christi, Lafayette, LA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. 40-Love
2. Net Worth
3. Balls to the Wall
4. High Strung Ladies

Dear Pun Gents, I need a witty slogan for a retiring boss that somehow includes “Gone Fishin”. ~Aimee, Daytona Beach, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. His employment has been nuked- he’s gone fission.
2. Caught and Released: Gone Fishin’,
3. Bait to Rest: Gone Fishin’
4. Gone Fishin: What a Bassturd!