Hear about that high-tech thriller, about a submarine crew that gets lost at sea due to extreme computer failure? It’s called <strong><em>DOS Boot</em></strong>. As the movie unfolds it’s clear that the vessel’s discipline was lax: not a <strong>mouse </strong>was stirring while some <strong>key bored</strong> personnel were in the washroom taking a <strong>FTP</strong>. The submarine was suddenly swamped by <strong>torrents </strong>of <strong>WAVs</strong>, and couldn’t make it to the <strong>dock</strong>. <strong>Windows </strong>were stupidly left open, resulting in an impossible <strong>Turing </strong>radius as they were overwhelmed by the<strong> C</strong>. It was a <strong>Unix </strong>situation, and as they twirled out into the <strong>ethernet </strong> the captain radioed the nearest B-52 Flying <strong>Fortran </strong> for help. “This <strong>hertz</strong>, <strong>Mac</strong>,” he cried. “It <strong>megahertz</strong>! I need a <strong>pier-to-pier </strong>transfer.” But due to <strong>BASIC </strong>errors and faulty <strong>navigation </strong>they could not find <strong>anchor</strong>, and <strong>crashed</strong>, leaving no possibility for a <strong>SQL</strong>.