Puns on Demand

Dear Pun Gents, a bromine pun. ~Luke, Roanoke

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bromine: the preferred element of angry black dudes.
2. I wrote a song to commemorate the discoverer of bromine: it was a touching Balard
3. Bromine's favourite band? Non-Metallica.
4. Bromine is cold. Brrr.
   

Dear Pun Gents, our band wants to make t-shirts to wear during pep band season (for basketball games, etc). What are some good band puns? Must be school appropriate. ~Kelly, Laramie, WY

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Salt and Pep-a
2. Show off your peps!
3. Think pepsy
4. Are you Game?
5. Band in all 50 states!
6. Cheer ye, Cheer ye!
7. Bandaconda

Dear Pun Gents, I am writing about various fundraising methods for charities. Any ideas? ~Miles, San Antonio, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Non-profit margins
2. NGOod fundraising strategies
3. Get your 'char' of the market
4. Take our advice and all your obstacles to fundraising will receipt.

Dear Pun Gents, my English class is having a pun-off and I need a team name. ~Cedar, Austin, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The Punishers
2. The Ad Homonym Attack
3. SWordplay
4. Punasillyin

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for children in need please. ~Liam, Newport, Wales

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Punny for your Tots?
2. Youngstars
3. Get down on your needs
4. Any help is big when they're small.

Dear Pun Gents, a pun on the letters GRE (general record exam) wishing someone good luck! ~Louise, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. GREat to see such a smart cookie
2. Gee are ye already finished?
3. Happy once it's over? I'm sure you'll a GRE.

Dear Pun Gents, we need team name for our company quiz night; theme is 'doctors and nurses.' ~Mike, London, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We Don't ER 
2. The Intern Nationals
3. See You in Health
4. Say Ah…some.

Dear Pun Gents, I'm writing a story told in songs about  the slippery slope of drugs. A guy starts his evening on coffee and TV and ends on heroin. Give me a punning drug/addict related name for him please! ~James, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Spike E.Z. Lee
2. Gowan S. Mack [go on smack]
3. Duane D. Hardys-Tuff [doing the hardest stuff]
4. Gateway Doug

Dear Pun Gents, I am doing a project comparing how charities are coping with the recession and suggesting solutions to them. I need a pun I could place as the title. Thank you so much! ~Jay, Houston

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. We'll get through this as a country. It will take a spirit of donationalism.
2. During a recession, remember to have fund!
3. The solutions aren't very donorous.
4. How to raise funds when funds are being razed.

Dear Pun Gents, I am a real estate agent and am trying for a punny slogan for myself. I just started as an agent and would love something funny, catchy and original…so I have turned to the best. Please help! ~Liz, Los Angeles

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. The Home Arranger
2. All’s Well that Ends in Sell
3. Catch the Latest Episode of House
4. Meet me at Starbucks and we’ll have a non-fat Mortagino
5. Name is Liz, but you can call me Ms. List!