Puns on Demand

Dear Pun Gents, our legal department is having a team community volunteer baking event for a children’s charity. Can you help us with a slogan? Thanks. ~Michele, Chadds Ford, PA (Long-time fan)

Dear Pun Gents, something about bicycling running in the family. It’s in my DNA, in my blood, family history of interest in the sport–I am in the cycling industry and work for Shimano in the OEM department. Hope that helps? ~Adam, Mission Viejo, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. A tradition you can’t brake.
2. Never two tired to ride.
3. Give the kids their ride-alin.
4. It starts in the early gears.
5. My mom gave birth to Schwinns.
6. I love the rolling hills. I feel like Bianchi Knolls [Beyonce Knowles].

Dear Pun Gents, I am looking for a pun to go along with field hockey and breast cancer. We are having a fundraiser and are looking for something funny and catchy that has to do with both. ~Heidi, Watertown, WI

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Women shouldn't get penalized just for crossing the boob line.
2. Pay attention in the faceoff areola.
3. The Old Mammo Grammas!
4. There's no "I" in tumour.
5. Victory requires a cancerted effort.

Dear Pun Gents, anything to do with a charity worker helping out in Africa. Or to do with mercy ships, for a profile title. ~Myra, Auckland, New Zealand

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Mercy Beaucoup
2. Holy Ship!
3. When All Help Breaks Loose

Dear Pun Gents, I need a 'Beach Bachelorette Weekend' t-shirt slogan. ~Rachel, Baltimore, MD

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Bachelortourette's Syndrome: Having a F***in' Good Time!
2. Sugar Rays
3. Dune Bunnies
4. BBW Seeks Good Time

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for a state trivia team. Preferably something nerdy, but not so much as laypeople won't understand it. Thanks a lot! ~Tiernan, Lismore, New South Wales, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Trebekistan
2. La Triviata
3. Know South Wales
4. Buzzerkers [if you ring in with a buzzer]

Dear Pun Gents, I need a name for a smaller special events venue I want to open—on Main St. in Littleton, CO—cherished family gatherings, etc. Need a clever title—I can only do Hallmark titles. Enjoy a laugh! ~Karen, Littleton, CO

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Tony Little's: It's a Little Tony
2. Women Are From Venues
3. Sunny and Cherish
4. The Main Squeeze

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun to put on t-shirts for a fundraiser for testicular cancer. It is a father-son baseball game. Players will wear the shirts and we will also sell them to raise money. ~Sarah, Appleton

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Going Going Gonad
2. Keep Your Eye on the Ball
3. Jock Rockers

Dear Pun Gents, I'm hosting a 'Jeopardy' meeting for folks in drug and alcohol recovery. I need puns for categories/answers pertaining to alcohol, drugs, recovery, 12-step programs, etc.  These people love to laugh, so have fun with this! ~Lou, Spring Hill, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. Impotent Potables
2. Famous Crack-pots
3. Bought the Pharma
4. Addictionary Quiz
5. Rehabiblical Figures

Dear Pun Gents, my friend is getting married; he plays rugby. ~Paul, Bath, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1. She agreed to marry? He must have rugged her.
2. Massive props, my friend.