Puns on Demand

Dear Pungents, we need a team name for an art trivia contest. Heavily considering your “Jackson Potlucks,” since we are in Minnesota. Any other ideas? Thanks! ~Tiffany, Rochester, MN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) The Leonerdos!
2) House of Paint
3) Pollock Bollock
4) Geek Architecture
5) The Baroquerage

Dear Pungents, I need a bowling team name for charity bowling tournament. Fairly clean is the requirement. The company sells hunting and fishing licenses if you can work that in. ~Helen, Nashville, TN

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Hooker’s Lane.”
2) “Spare Fishers.”
3) “Shotgun alley.”

Dear Pungents, Please give unto the world a pun regarding government. ~Colin, Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “I live in a satirical state. It’s a them-mock-racy.”
2) “Politicians should take care in a demockracy – a sassy nation is always a possibility.”
3) “We’d try to think of US government puns, but we’re too bushed.”
4) “Does Japan have a buy-camera parliament?”
5) “It’s no surprise that Hillary is running for president – she always wanted to be the senator of attention.”

Dear Pungents, need a bowling team name pun that also incorporates substance abuse and/or disciplinary action. Bonus points if it also incorporates lawyers/the law. Thanks!!! ~Matt, Chicago, Illinois

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Lane down the law.”
2) “Lucky strikes bowling”
3) “Here come the cops – we’d better split!”
4) “Pins and Needles.”
5) “Spare me a dime for some lucky strikes?”

Dear Pungents, I’d like a pun for patent attorneys: anything to do with science and technology, inventions, and/or the law. ~Charmaine, Denver, Colorado

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “The Belgians are upset that they never get credit for the invention of fries. It’s a case of copyright inFrenchment.”
2) “Pornstars acquire property rights for their films at the trademark orifice.”
3) “Counterfeit perfumes are in violation of lie-scentsing agreements.”
4) “Patent law: aka the Statute of Imitations.”

Dear Pungents, puns please on the following words/topics: gun, gangster, grime, music , rap , freestyle, fresh. ~Xavier, Brighton, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Someone’s gunna get shot!
2) “Clean up your act, because grime doesn’t pay.”
3) “I didn’t see the hitman’s target. Did Al Cap one?”
4) “Too many cooks spoil the broth. Especially with gang-stirs.”
5) “Ancient Greeks builders were known for their frieze-tiling. When they tried to throw down rhymes they didn’t throw up no bricks.”

Dear Pungents, I’m making a documentary film about dental floss. (Really.) I think I’ve come up with a good title: “Hanging by a Thread: A Dental Floss Documentary.” And a good tag line: “There is more to floss than meets the tooth.” But I wanted to check if you have other suggestions. Gary Hallock told me about your site. I’m writing a book of puns and Gary wrote the foreword for it. Thanks for your help! ~Gary, Boston, MA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) The Thin Thread Line
2) Tooth or Dare
3) Profit and Floss
4) Flossed and Found
5) There is more to floss than meets the eyetooth
6) Flosstitution isn’t just for johns
7) Flossing – don’t get caried away!

Dear Pungents, I’m on a women’s tennis team in San Francisco. We’re looking for a clever name for our team. Any thoughts? ~Nina, San Francisco

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Elle Deuces (El Duce)
2) The Racketteers
3) The Rackettes
4) Microserves (Microserfs)
5) The Lob-yists
6) Sets in the City

Dear Pungents, “Malaysia’s 50th Merdeka is so meaningful because…” ~Melissa, Johor Bahru, Malaysia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “We now enjoy a good Kuala-ty of life.”
2) “We’re all decked with jewelry. That’s why we celebrate in de’ pendants.”
3) “Because a George colony is much less sexy than George Clooney.”
4) “We’ve reached middle Asian we’re having fun!”

Dear Pungents, I need a pun for my sister who is doing a master’s in archaeology in the Orkney Islands, Scotland. Her name is Shannon. ~Mike, Halifax, Nova Scotia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Haggis yourself a good time! They’ll be lots of Scottish Shannonigans!”
2) “Careful, I heard those islands are pretty disOrkneyized.”
3) “Those who study arc heel ology are never caught flat footed.”