NED: Hear about the Greek mafia? ED: Yeah – they always threaten to put a <strong>kappa</strong> in my ass! NED: Didn’t they murder a bunch of Newfoundlanders? ED: No – that was the psychotic Greek fraternity, <strong>Kappa Nu Phi</strong>. NED: What about that strange fraternity located along the Nile river, it was called <strong>Chi Rho Delta</strong>, that now wants to open a bake shop. ED: You mean <strong>Nu Pi Delta</strong>. Once I <strong>Eta Pi</strong>there – it was too expensive and now I <strong>Omega</strong>. But it was a big dessert. I <strong>Eta Omega Pi</strong>! NED: Well I’m getting a little tired of Nu Pi Delta, as is their sister sorority. ED: <strong>Xi Xi Xi</strong>? NED: That’s right. And what about the fraternity for Esperanto lovers – <strong>Nu Alpha Beta</strong>. ED: Or that sorority for fashionable fat ladies: <strong>Nu Mu Mu</strong>. My poodle got eaten there! NED: I thought that was <strong>Eta Phi-Phi</strong>. ED: And to get revenge on those ladies I borrowed a semiautomatic weapon. But I lost it and now it has to be replaced. NED: <strong>Iota Nu Xi</strong> can help you with that. ED: What about penis enlargement? NED: Try <strong>Psi Xi Omega</strong>. ED: Did you know dragon boat lovers are meeting at <strong>Rho Rho Rho</strong>? NED: That’s nothing. The pranksters at <strong>Tau Rho Mu</strong> stack cows one atop the other! ED: Funny, I had a beef patty the other day. NED: At <strong>Eta Mu Pi</strong>? ED: Yes. Say – did you hear about that kinky lesbian sorority. Legend has it Michael Douglas’ wife and Delta Burke had a fling there. NED: You mean <strong>Delta Eta Zeta</strong>? ED: Yes.