Daily jokes, one-liners & quality groaners
Pun of the Day
I’m thinking of buying a cat. I’ve heard cats can be finicky. In fact, the pet store said that the cat that I want only eats religiously consecrated fish — from the superorder elopomorpha. Pretty weird. So… when I get that feline, I need sectual eelings?
Pun of the Day
It’s hard to insure a fishery. Most policies don’t cover acts of Cod.
Pun of the Day
When I retire I’m gonna grow six more arms. I gotta keep myself octopied.
Pun of the Day
King Neptune never learned to ride a pike.
Pun of the Day
If a fish and chips shack burns down, the insurance company won’t help, as they don’t cover snacks of cod.
Pun of the Day
They had a smoked salmon fundaising lunch for the President at which he gave a speech. It was sold out–lox, talk and Barry O.
Pun of the Day
The Octopi Wall Street movement was very well-armed, and got a lot of ink.
Pun of the Day
Invest in cod liver-processing technology! You don’t want miss out on the art-of-fish-oil intelligence boom.
Themed Puns
To catch fish, you need a bass kit.
Fisherman porn? Deep Trout.
Do famous fish get endorsalment deals?
To get a fish’s opinion, simply take a pole.
Goodlooking fishermen have a lure. Be careful though, they’re not reel – and they might start line to you. They’ll either be worms, or try to hook you in. Their heinous flies with never a bait!
Fishing in a river involves patience. There’s a lot of wading.
Catching fish behind a boat can be trawl order.
Did the ancient Minnowins collect small fish?
The Lady of the Hake held Excaviar from the water.