Dear Pungents, I need a pun with the words jazz and classical music, something like ‘he’s a jazzical artist’, meaning he plays classical and jazz and also rocks. Thanks. ~Arax, Yerevan, Armenia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Mozzart. Strauzz. Debuzzy: Classical, meet jazz: “
2) “Top of the clazz.”
3) “Jazz + classical: kickassical.”
4) “Choral jazz chanting: the Thelonius Monks?”
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Loading...Dear Pungents, a pun on maids as live-in helpers. Thanks. ~Angel, Singapore
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “A live-in housekeeper should be quiet. In fact she ought to be anannymous.
2) “Live-in housemaids should never talk back. No ifs ands or butlers.”
3) “For lazy aristocratic existentialists like Sartre, Help is other people.”
4) “I like having a live in maid. Help aupairs whenever I need it.”
5) “Mafia types always have housekeepers. Because they’re maid men.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, a pun about birth control or contraceptives. ~Andrea, Green Bay, Wisconsin
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Sorry, Andrea, we’re really firing blanks here!”
2) “Does one buy contraception at a condominium?”
3) “Hear about the dyslexic couple who got drunk and tried to conceive while driving? Unfortunately it was a case of IUD.”
4) “What’s a better contraceptive: The Sperminator, or the Great Wall of Vagina? Well, the latter was impregnable“
5) “Do those who work at a sperm bank use the withdrawal method?”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, a good pun i can use in my algebra class – not using ‘division as the vision’ or a pencil being pointless. Thank you ~Andrew, Fairfield, Connecticut
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Are algebra students smart? Yes, they are vari able individuals.”
2) “The hair-obsessed algebra student was careful to check his coifficient.”
3) “Did the mathematicians in The Matrix drive invertibles?”
4) “Are mathematicians heavy sleepers? Yes, they have BEDMAS.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, a pun about youth. ~Nicole, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Children have value. They’re very youthful.”
2) “Penning youth puns is not as easy as youth ink.”
3) “Who was the father of child psychology? Carl Jung.”
4) “Some people think the ill and elderly should have the option of killing themselves – especially in heavily populated Eastern countries. But I disagree. Who will look after the youth in Asia?”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, a pun about something that will improve and revive skin elasticity, restore collagen effectively, maintain beautiful youthful and supple skin, prevent aging. ~Chen, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “What the elderly lack in beauty, they make up for in intelligence. Each old person is aging-ius (a genius).”
2) “Youthfulness isn’t simply genetic – agene can’t prevent aging.”
3) “Kinky? Skin’s key.”
4) “Skin conditioners don’t work well. There’s always a wrinkle or two.”
5) “Those who go to beauty collagen don’t just pay lips service.”
6) “Jesus gave away all His revitalizing skin creams – at the Last Supple.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, a pun on ‘Leah’. ~Heather, Valdosta
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Leahve me alone
2) One Life to Leahve.
3) Leahway
4) Princess Leah
5) PLeah bargaining
6) Leahther pants
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I want to make fun of my friend’s moniker. A pun on ‘fool’ and ‘pocket’ please. Thanks! ~Ryan, Bristol, UK
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Is your pocket fool or are you just happy to see me?”
2) “Man, I suck at pool. Focket!”
3) When Mr. T lost weight he could finally get into his hot tub. He said “I fitty the pool!”
4) (in a parking lot) “If all the spots are fool, then take your car and pocket over there.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I need one of your finest puns, regarding a “Sword” and a “God” in the same pun preferably. Thanks a lot fellas, keep up that good shit! Stay blessed. ~Marsellus, Manchester, UK
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Listen to the Sword of God.
2) Excalibur is quite ornately decorated. It is a sword with divine properties – and so by rights it should be Goddy.
3) I was struck down by God’s sword, in one foil swoop. I was scimitarred and feathered. I was blade to rest.
4) Without his divine blade at his side, the chief Greek deity was absolutely Zeusless.
5) I was wounded by the Norse God’s battleaxe, and I’m still feeling Thor.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, our friend Steve is moving from Nashville to Fort Myers, Florida. He loves BBQ, coffee & bad puns, and is an inspector for homeland security. ~Alex, Nashville, TN
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Steve, everyone admyers you for moving out of town.”
2) “You won’t ever see another tennis match, now that you’re leaving Tennis-see! And the barbecues in Fort Myers certainly won’t be as good as in Noshville!”
3) “Steve’s love of caffeine sometimes gets in the way of catching terrorists. For example, he was a bit confused when he thought the Lybian dictator was Moammar Good-Coffee (Khadaffi, get it? …yikes)!”
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