Dear Pungents, I need a pun for the eternal problem: that weeds seem to thrive in the garden more than the hoped-for flowers. ~Mary, Eaton, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “It’s a plague of dandelions! Good thing I’ve been weeding the Bible.”

2) “Forget fertilizer – I need a fertilaser!”

3) “These weeds love to multiply after dark – they have a night-rate fixation!” (nitrate fixation – quite nerdy)

4) “My garden has not turned out as I plant.”

5) “I need to stop these weeds on the mitochondrial level – that will end this Kreb-grass cycle!” (crabgrass/Krebs cycle – EXTREMELY nerdy)

6) “Oops, looks like I was accidentally using a weed-waker!”

7) “My garden doesn’t produce any veggies, so I guess I’ll resort to eating Bavarians. Nothing I plant seems to German-ate!”

8) Bonus non-pun: “Man am I hosed!”

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