Dear Pungents, what a good idea; originality these days is a rare commodity! I’d like a pun about my situation involving having feelings for a woman who’s seeing another man. It would help me cope with this impossible thing called being ‘friends’. ~Jason, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “I’m sick of being Platonic – I need some lay tonic!”

2) “She’s got the wrong man, and I’ve got the right hand!”

3) “My feelings for her are like a cancer in my heart. They should call them chemotions!”

4) “They should call me The Relationship Butcher: why did I have to beef-rend her?”

5) “I’m in love, but she must be in loaf, ’cause when I think of what went wrong I just say d’ough!”

6) (bilingual:) “I’m better off sleeping with all of Paris to forget, because when it comes to me and her it’s just ‘baise France’!”

(Rate This Pun)

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