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40th annual O Henry Punoff in Austin Texas is May 13, 2017
The Pun Gents were honoured be judges and Punsters of the Year (POTY) recipients at the 40th Annual O. Henry Punoff world championships Saturday, May 13 in Austin!

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See Pun Gent Pat's previous Punoff pun routines.

All Puns for March, 2006


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03/31/06

Eating wheat is a sin, aka gluteny.

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03/31/06

Andrew from Dugald:
Steve Jobs has come out with a new device that will only play pirated music. Its name? The iPatch.

Aaar! This be Parroty!!

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03/30/06

Why won’t the Pyramids ever fall down?

Because, Pharoah said, “Don’t bust my Cheops!

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03/29/06

What’s an avocado’s favourite carnival game?

Wack-a-mole.

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03/28/06

VIRTUIN’ THE FAT?

Dear Pungents, A pun on faith, hope and charity – or “I lift mine eyes up to the heavens.” Thank you – it’s punishment trying to think of one myself. ~Avery, Port Elizabeth, South Africa

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Faith isn’t spiritual, it’s physical. My faith is located in my bodily organs; because I’m a be liver.”

2) “The theological virtues are addictive. I’m hoped up on drugs!”

3) “I’d give you the shirt off my back. It’s an act of share a tee.

4) “Faith is an action, not a quality. Trust me, I used to be noun believer.” (a tad esoteric?)

5) “I was once a stripper, but I converted and turned from my immoral ways. Now it’s ‘I lift mine eyes up to the heavens’, but as an exotic dancer it used to be ‘I lift my nasty up to the heathens!’”

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03/27/06

PUNS ON THE RUN

Dear Pungents, I need a punny name for a community running club I’m setting up. For example there is a group known as Gunn Runners – Gunn being where they live, and gun also slang meaning ‘talented’. We are currently the Sunshine Runners Group; our area is famous for the Sunshine Harvester and I have nothing! ~Sean, Sunshine, Victoria, Australia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

(first, some generic ones)
1) Sunshine Sweathearts
2) Kangarunners
3) Marathunder
4) The Sunshine Run Swine – We’re Pigs For It!

(and more specific to the Harvester)
5) The Sunshine Harvesters: No Pain, No Grain
6) The Leg Gents [legends] of the Sunshine Harvester
7) Sunshine Harvester Squad: Running at our Wheat’s End
9) Runners of the Mill
8) The Harvesters: Fun + Run, Combined!

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03/27/06

When He was born, the Three Wise Men came to Bethlehem, where they found Jesus lying in a manger. They offered Him gold, frankincense and myrrh. Not as well known, however, is that when he turned 21 the Wise Men took the Saviour to a strip club, to watch exotic dancers. This was known as The Gift of the Vagi.

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03/26/06

Why is the fear of midgets the cure for all fears?

Because – it’s gno-mo-phobia!

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03/25/06

I’d love to be abandoned on a dessert island.

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03/24/06

Why is farting out bubbles a sin?

Because – it’s blast-foamy!

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