Pun Pals

Andrew from Dugald:

Isn’t it funny? Everyone wants to clean up the Earth in all sorts of ways, and yet, nature abhors a vacuum.

Andrew from Dugald:

I kinda thought I could maybe put together the lårsbünt bookcase from IKEA, but I found out that I lacked the shelf confidence to do so.

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Mike was installing venetian blinds with his brother and their respective spouses one day. The guys went for lunch and came back to find the ladies hopelessly entangled in the window treatments at the top of the frames. Phoning 911, they kind of laughed Mike off until he was forced to exclaim, “Don’t you realize that our wives hang in the valance!?”

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I was exploring an old abandoned ice cream plant, when I was caught by the security guard they had on site. “Can’t you read the no trespassing signs?” he asked. “Don’t you know you can get hurt wandering around a dairy licked building?”

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In all of history, its been found that the Protestants always beat the Catholics whenever their battles occurred at sea. The Protestants always had their fleet in motion which made them hard to pin down. Perhaps it had something to do with them not believing in idle warships.

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When the OctoMom found out how many babies she was having, did she go into ovaload?

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Why do window washers never work naked?
They use “streak free” glass cleaner.

Andrew from Dugald:

I kinda thought I could maybe put together the lårsbünt bookcase from IKEA, but I found out that I lacked the shelf confidence to do so.

---

Mike was installing venetian blinds with his brother and their respective spouses one day. The guys went for lunch and came back to find the ladies hopelessly entangled in the window treatments at the top of the frames. Phoning 911, they kind of laughed Mike off until he was forced to exclaim, “Don’t you realize that our wives hang in the valance!?”

---

I was exploring an old abandoned ice cream plant, when I was caught by the security guard they had on site. “Can’t you read the no trespassing signs?” he asked. “Don’t you know you can get hurt wandering around a dairy licked building?”

---

In all of history, its been found that the Protestants always beat the Catholics whenever their battles occurred at sea. The Protestants always had their fleet in motion which made them hard to pin down. Perhaps it had something to do with them not believing in idle warships.

---

When the OctoMom found out how many babies she was having, did she go into ovaload?

---

Why do window washers never work naked?
They use “streak free” glass cleaner.

Andrew from Dugald:

Do the ice wine makers of Niagara walk around in their vintner under-vear come January?

When historians look back on the economic meltdown of 2009, they won’t be kind to all these robber baron millionaires. As so many will get verbally tossed on the scrap heap of history, will these future critics create mountains out of moguls?

In some parts of Germany, a medieval attitude still exists towards slavery. In fact there are reports that if you are a small, gnarled little person, you can still be enslaved to work in the garden! Its’ true what they say: a man’s gnome is his vassal.

Title of a play about a group of old geezers who overcome ED with little blue pills: “All swell, that ends swell“. It could be set in the Viagra Penisula (hopefully I’m still a member in good standing).

Crystal from Halifax:

On what day of the week did Dorothy return home from Oz?

Ruby shoesday.

Andrew from Dugald:

Since the American financial sector has basically gone in the crapper due to bad loans, are lenders of last resort guilty of giving credit, where credit is……doo-doo?

Andrew from Dugald:

If you suffer from a twitchy sphincter, would a thera-poo-tic m-ass-age help?

David from Toronto:

On the issues McCain will Palin comparison to Obama. Barack’s just Biden his time.

Andrew from Dugald:

When the 20th century ended, so ended an era of great speechmakers. There was a quartet who often talked so much, their voices would get strained; JFK, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King and FDR. They were known as The Four Hoarse-Men of the Epoch Elapse.