Rural America is being asked to bale out Wall Street. Most Americans don’t understand the crisis, so it had to be explained to them in Lehman’s terms. The bulls have lost; how quickly the Bears Sterns! The bank CEOs have been advised to keep off the streets, lest they be Merrilly Lynched.

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RHODES TO RICHES

Dear Pungents, I need a pun for an article about film stars (actors, directors etc) who go on to success after studying at Oxford University. I’ve got ‘From dreaming spires to screaming admirers’ but I need something punchier. ~Guy, Oxford, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. From Oxford to Oscar
  2. From Oxford to Fox’s Door
  3. Hired Education
  4. Academia to the Academy
  5. Do the Oxtrot
  6. They Rhodes into the Sunset
  7. From Latin Mass to Matinee Lass
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STEREO TYPING

Dear Pungents, can I get a few puns on racism? Not racist puns obviously—I’m mixed-race—but dealing with the subject, maybe making fun of racists if you understand. Thanks. Big up, keep doin ya things. ~Ed Azocul, Glucoseville

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. How do you get rid of racism? Erasism.
  2. Racists are nutty. Just look at the cuckoo klux klan.
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