Dear Pungents, I’m running a mountain trail race in a few weeks. I need something to say to my competitors as I pass them by, to leave them in stitches, so to speak. Thanks guys, you’re the best. ~John, Montreal

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Am I in shape for this race? Yes, I’m very well mountained!”

2) “Looking at your ass when you run makes me think of mountain you.”

3) “Hill yeah!”

4) “See you at the Finnish line? No, I’m Russian by. So eat my Dostoyevsky.”

5) “If you’re biased against mountain courses, does that make you racist?”

6) “After I win this marathon I will retire… to Iran.”

7) “Let’s flip a coin to see who’s faster. If it’s trails you lose!”

8) “Are you a good runner? Well, I’ll put it this way: you’re definitely passable!” (POW)

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