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    • Puns on Demand
    • O. Henry Pun-Off
  • All-Time Best Puns
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03/15/201803/16/2018

Help us kick the pun hobbit. Check out my newspaper Gollum

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags gollum, Lord of the Rings, lotr, memes
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What does a goose look for in a gander? Honkiness.
Which politician claimed he could spin gold out of nothing, and got upset when reporters called him names? A: Trumpelstiltskin.  

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Pun Archive

Best Puns (so far)

  • Best of @pungents #CanadianAct... 13 votes, average: 5.00 out of 513 votes, average: 5.00 out of 513 votes, average: 5.00 out of 513 votes, average: 5.00 out of 513 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • Pat’s 2005 Pun Off Punniest of... 9 votes, average: 5.00 out of 59 votes, average: 5.00 out of 59 votes, average: 5.00 out of 59 votes, average: 5.00 out of 59 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • Whenever I leave the country p... 7 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • The tiniest scientists have us... 6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • Pat’s 2007 Pun Off Punniest of... 6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
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  • Which celebrity microwaves his... 14 votes, average: 4.93 out of 514 votes, average: 4.93 out of 514 votes, average: 4.93 out of 514 votes, average: 4.93 out of 514 votes, average: 4.93 out of 5 (4.93 out of 5)
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  • I get upset about Asian canine... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • Be a lumberjack. Saw the world... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
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  • Cowboys don’t roll joints. The... 19 votes, average: 4.89 out of 519 votes, average: 4.89 out of 519 votes, average: 4.89 out of 519 votes, average: 4.89 out of 519 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
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  • Boo-merang: when you angrily s... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
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  • A famous composer was also a c... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
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  • My sister is marrying an organ... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
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  • During my time as an execution... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
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  • Cannibalism is tough. It’s Dou... 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
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  • JOURNAL OF APPLED SCIENCE 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
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  • How do epic poets hijack a shi... 14 votes, average: 4.86 out of 514 votes, average: 4.86 out of 514 votes, average: 4.86 out of 514 votes, average: 4.86 out of 514 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5 (4.86 out of 5)
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  • To make math more sexy, be lik... 7 votes, average: 4.86 out of 57 votes, average: 4.86 out of 57 votes, average: 4.86 out of 57 votes, average: 4.86 out of 57 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5 (4.86 out of 5)
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  • Bicyclists are always pedallin... 13 votes, average: 4.85 out of 513 votes, average: 4.85 out of 513 votes, average: 4.85 out of 513 votes, average: 4.85 out of 513 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5 (4.85 out of 5)
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  • Which Transformers had fake br... 12 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5 (4.83 out of 5)
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  • Jesus told a lot of stories ab... 17 votes, average: 4.82 out of 517 votes, average: 4.82 out of 517 votes, average: 4.82 out of 517 votes, average: 4.82 out of 517 votes, average: 4.82 out of 5 (4.82 out of 5)
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  • Which animals like to get drun... 10 votes, average: 4.80 out of 510 votes, average: 4.80 out of 510 votes, average: 4.80 out of 510 votes, average: 4.80 out of 510 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5 (4.80 out of 5)
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  • Before proving his own existen... 39 votes, average: 4.79 out of 539 votes, average: 4.79 out of 539 votes, average: 4.79 out of 539 votes, average: 4.79 out of 539 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5 (4.79 out of 5)
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  • Whenever I see five toes, I kn... 14 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5 (4.79 out of 5)
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  • Wherewolves are endangered. 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
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  • I made a pun in springtime. It... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
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  • Predicting the wind is a vane ... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
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  • Sleep? There’s a nap for that. 17 votes, average: 4.76 out of 517 votes, average: 4.76 out of 517 votes, average: 4.76 out of 517 votes, average: 4.76 out of 517 votes, average: 4.76 out of 5 (4.76 out of 5)
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  • Nietzsche joined Facebook, and... 16 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • Most newspaper editors have ty... 12 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • Best of #KennethColeTweets by ... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • Most people can’t write poetry... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • A husband was accused by his w... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
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  • Call me scent o’ mental, but w... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Which toy company believes in ... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Thoreau bred horses. 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • The favourite music of menstru... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Rubbing up against strangers i... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
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  • Bedouin nomads are known for t... 28 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • I’m good at solving labyrinths... 14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • To use algebra to determine th... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • I’m an expert on Fascist Italy... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • If Jesus had weighed 450 pound... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • Hisspanics are afraid of snake... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
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  • Poor typists are rather un qwe... 16 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5 (4.69 out of 5)
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  • A defibullator saves lies. 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • I got a bad haircut in Stockho... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • I’m forming a Kindergarten Met... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • Austria started WWI because it... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • I woke up beside an elephant. ... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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  • The pun about the man with the... 6 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 56 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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