Month: March 2005

Dear Pungents, Please help! I have a gambling and drinking problem. What would be the best wine selection for my next poker game with my friends? ~ Mark, Kingston, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1 “When I play poker and I’m the killer*, then my wine of choice is a Muscat.”

(*KILL (OR KILL BLIND): an oversize blind, usually twice the size of the big blind and doubling the limit. A kill can be either voluntary or mandatory. The most common requirements of a mandatory kill are for winning two pots in a row at lowball and other games, or for scooping a pot in high-low split. ~ from pokerforum.com)

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Dear Pungents, I need a phrase/slogan to promote a symphony orchestra. ~ Mary, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “I heard that whales like to sing – in the orca-stra!”

2) “We’re so good you better bring a vomit bag – we’ll make mu-sic!“

3) “We get so excited when we play – you should see our tromboner!”

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Dear Pungents, I need a pun to write on my friend’s 19th birthday card. I want him to know that I really appreciate his help and his jokes. ~ Kathryn, Vancouver

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You’re lucky you’re no longer fodder for cannibals. They only ate teens!”

2) “If it wasn’t for all your kelp, I’d have long ago started smoking pot. Then I’d only see weed!”

3) “I love how you’re always a round – so happy girthday!”

4) “Harpy bday – I pulled some strings to write you these jokes!”

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