Doug from San Juan, California:
1) I have a cat with a strange illness. Whenever it sees a rug, it tries to burrow under it, madly chasing an invisible prey. What is the name of its disease ?????
Carpet Tunnel Syndrome!
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Loading...Andrew from Dugald, MB:
If a bird can’t decide who should be his partner, is he Tern between two Plovers?
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I’m thinking of buying some Pungents merch, but I’m not sure if I should buy the large or the extra-large t-shirt. Can ya help a brother out with a little zinger to help me make my decision? ~Cristobal, Little Portugal, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Well, if it were tree-shirt sizes, I’d tell you to get extra-larch.”
2) “If you were psychic, you’d know you’d need a medium.” [technically not a pun – alternately, “If you were a hungry carnivore, you’d know you’d need meaty-yum.”]
3) “Which size? Anyone who nose the Pungents should get smell.”
4) “Whatever size you pick, be very careful after placing your order – You don’t want to be known as the guy who buys merch and dies.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Brigg from East Greenbush, NY:
Why is Brigg worried about his latest submission?
Because it could be an accident waiting to hap-pun.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I need a witty, yet still professional-sounding team name for a group of four writers. Can you help? ~Liz, Alberta
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) The Writers’ Bloc
2) The Author Side of the Fence
3) The Calligraphy Crew – Vials and Scribulations
4) Four Versemen of the Apocalypse
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I’m referred to as a Corporate Account Manager (CAM), in a sales org dealing with accounts throughout North America. We CAM’s are subdivided by industry ie. pharmaceutical, petroleum, transportation etc. I belong to ‘General’ which covers all the rest. We’re looking for a better name than General CAM’s … please help! ~ Paul, Vancouver
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) The Mixed Sale-ads – where there’s no accounting for taste?
2) The CAMs: Corporate Account Menageurs – where it’s an industrial orgy.
3) The MADCAPs: Mixed and Divided Corporate Account Powershippers – we put in the wind in the sales.
4) GONADS: General Organization, North American-Division Salespeople
5) The CAM-shaft – because all the good names were taken!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I’m a teacher writing some ESL material for secondary students. I wrote a personality test which is supposed to direct students toward opening either a product- or service-based business depending on their interests. The name of the unit is Mind Your Business; I need a catchy name for the quiz. Remember, the students are studying English as a second language, therefore it must be a low-level pun. Please help! ~ Paul, Trois-Rivieres, Quebec
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Are you suit-able? Tailor your business to your personality.”
2) “Profit Prophet: predicting where your business interests lie.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Ron from Toronto:
Great name for a travel agency specializing in flying people to destinations for
cruises: Jet some and Float some.
People who drive others around and get no thanks, do all the work but have
nothing to show for chauffer it.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Gordon from Calgary:
1.What accounting method is used by someone who is hiding their money to avoid taxes?
Cache (cash) basis of accounting.
2. What sadistic accounting method is used by tax auditors in order to catch these cheats?
Accrual (a cruel) basis of accounting.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I frequent a women’s forum called “Chatelaine”. Those who post are from Canada, the States and even overseas. We joke, argue and advise each other about a variety of subjects. What can you come up with? ~ Yvonne, Courtenay, BC
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Why do so many people call themselves Elaine on this forum? Every time I come here I always chat Elaine!”
2) “Would you call the descriptions of themselves which the members display on this forum a victory for women’s fib?”
3) “I encourage those on the forum to play games with one another. Even if someone loses, we all end up women!”
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