Month: March 2005

Dear Pungents, I’m in a group of 12 girlfriends (in their 30’s and 40’s) who meet monthly to do some interesting themed activity or learn fun new things like scrapbooking, wreath-making at Christmas, etc. We need a name for our group; we meet once a month, and we are women, but please don’t use PMS or anything similar in the title! ~ Cindy, Duncan, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) The Genial Estrogenies

2) The Galcoholics (Galcoholics Eponymous?)

3) The Duncan Women’s Club: Friends, Fun, and Lifelong Mammaries

4) Pack of Chicklets

5) The No-guys-collage-ists! [‘gynecologists’ – sorry!]rry!]

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Dear Pungents, I’m emceeing the opening night of a curling bonspiel, where we auction off the teams prior to play, and I need a pun or two. We do bios of each team, which are generally quite punny themselves. This is a gender-mixed event, featuring people who work mostly in energy exploration or related companies. Thank you. ~ Jerry, Halifax, NS

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You may have heard of our next team – they’ve got quite the sonic broom!”

2) “All our teams display a lot of end-ergy.“

3) “Geothermal engineers in a bonspiel? Heck, this isn’t brain surgery – it’s rock science!”

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Dear Pungents, my computer consulting firm needs a name for our slo-pitch team. We support all kinds of systems, from mainframe to web-based applications. What can you come up with that combines slo-pitch with computers? Please don’t use my real name. ~‘Ruprecht’, Edmonton, Alberta

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) The 26-inning RAMathoners (Marathoners)
2) Bats n’ Bytes
3) The HTMLs – we’ll tag you
4) FLASH in the pens (refers to those in the bullpen)
5) The Ty COBOLs
6) Microsoftball (or just plain Microsoft)
OR
7) Macrosoft – we’re in the big leagues!

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Dear Pungents, I need a pun about an optical education. ~ Ian, Edmonton, Alberta

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Which drugs do ophthalmalogists smoke? Myopium!”

2) “Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?”

3) “Who could snag rebounds, even in the dark? Dennis Rod-man!”

4) “I thought I was doing well at optometry, but I got a see on my exam!”

5) “How do Wiccan opticians get rid of insect infestations? Perform a see ants!”

6) “Becoming a hawkulist is nothing to spit at.”

7) “Studying optometry lens itself to a good career; that’s no eye-dle spec-ulation!”

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Dear Pungents, I read a fab article about you in the National Post. I work for an accounting firm and I need a funny phrase about the new advisory group serving our North York office. They’ll work with the many different industry groups; we’re giving them a hat because they’ll be ‘wearing many hats’ in their role. Can you think of a good phrase to put on the hats? Thanks so much! ~Lisa, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Advisory groups – the multi-hatted hydra of accounting”

2) “More than just beanie-counting“

3) “From fedora-l revenue agents to fez-cal (fiscal) experts – they all toque (talk) to us!”

4) “Work harder or I’ll cap yo ass!”

5) “I work with 3 industry groups – it’s a hat-trick!””

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