Women love reading Charlie Brown. They have Peanuts envy.
I believe that, despite its name, ‘Crazy Glue’ should be taken seriously. But then again – I’m an epoxy moron.
Some people are lactose intolerant, but galactose is universally tolerated.
MidEast rappers? The legendary MC Hamir sang ‘Too Legit Tikrit‘.
Fight the Mujahideen? So viet.
Andrew from Dugald:
When the circus comes to town and they want to get new people to join their freak show, do they hold Odditions?
Portobello mushrooms in the morning is a breakfast of champignons!
NED: Being a cremator is a lucrative business.
ED: How’s that?
NED: You urn a lot!
Dear Pungents, a pun about birth control or contraceptives. ~Andrea, Green Bay, Wisconsin
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Sorry, Andrea, we’re really firing blanks here!”
2) “Does one buy contraception at a condominium?”
3) “Hear about the dyslexic couple who got drunk and tried to conceive while driving? Unfortunately it was a case of IUD.”
4) “What’s a better contraceptive: The Sperminator, or the Great Wall of Vagina? Well, the latter was impregnable“
5) “Do those who work at a sperm bank use the withdrawal method?”
There’s a labour shortage in the auto industry. Those who put new treads on cars are all retiring.