Women love reading Charlie Brown. They have Peanuts envy.
When the pope ordered Catholics to follow his example and gird their loins, he was accused of robing ‘peter’ to pape all.
I believe that, despite its name, ‘Crazy Glue’ should be taken seriously. But then again – I’m an epoxy moron.
Some people are lactose intolerant, but galactose is universally tolerated.
MidEast rappers? The legendary MC Hamir sang ‘Too Legit Tikrit‘.
Fight the Mujahideen? So viet.
Andrew from Dugald:
When the circus comes to town and they want to get new people to join their freak show, do they hold Odditions?
Portobello mushrooms in the morning is a breakfast of champignons!
NED: Being a cremator is a lucrative business.
ED: How’s that?
NED: You urn a lot!
Dear Pungents, a pun about birth control or contraceptives. ~Andrea, Green Bay, Wisconsin
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Sorry, Andrea, we’re really firing blanks here!”
2) “Does one buy contraception at a condominium?”
3) “Hear about the dyslexic couple who got drunk and tried to conceive while driving? Unfortunately it was a case of IUD.”
4) “What’s a better contraceptive: The Sperminator, or the Great Wall of Vagina? Well, the latter was impregnable“
5) “Do those who work at a sperm bank use the withdrawal method?”