Spraypaint on a wall goes against my mural code.
Month: December 2006
JAZZICAL?
Dear Pungents, I need a pun with the words jazz and classical music, something like ‘he’s a jazzical artist’, meaning he plays classical and jazz and also rocks. Thanks. ~Arax, Yerevan, Armenia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Mozzart. Strauzz. Debuzzy: Classical, meet jazz: “
2) “Top of the clazz.”
3) “Jazz + classical: kickassical.”
4) “Choral jazz chanting: the Thelonius Monks?”
The Chippewan Indians have a gradual approach.
Some kinkos like to make love to pachyderms. They call it their elephantasy. I vory about them. They love the tusky odours. Although, it helps to get a bit trunk first.
I always get lost driving on New Year’s eve. I blame the Old Lane Signs.
Andrew from Dugald:
When the government shut down the East Coast fishery after scientists claimed the fish stocks were depleted, many people considered it a fled herring.
Andrew from Dugald:
Did ye no hear o’ the scotsman who always lived in the shadow of his elder brother, the famous arctic explorer and master igloo builder? He joined an Eskimo tribe and built his own snow shelter in the hopes of o’ercoming his feelings o’ Ian-‘ad his Quincey.
Andrew from Dugald:
What did the wife of the ancient greek writer say when she found he had torn his manuscript to shreds?
“Why Euripides?”
When the detective found another Athenian sailor dead in the water, struck down by his own paddle, he was quick to realize it was another Greek Oar-a-Kill.
Wayne Gretzky puns are hokey. I’m so tired of that schtick. It’s always the same pucking thing. No more Mr Ice Guy!
MAID TO ORDER
Dear Pungents, a pun on maids as live-in helpers. Thanks. ~Angel, Singapore
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “A live-in housekeeper should be quiet. In fact she ought to be anannymous.
2) “Live-in housemaids should never talk back. No ifs ands or butlers.”
3) “For lazy aristocratic existentialists like Sartre, Help is other people.”
4) “I like having a live in maid. Help aupairs whenever I need it.”
5) “Mafia types always have housekeepers. Because they’re maid men.”