I DREAMED I HAD FOUR BALLS…

Dear Pun Gents, a softball pun relating to a dream. ~Brandi, Richmond, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. I must have entered RBI sleep.
  2. I was inning out of sleep.
  3. I dreamed I had four balls.
  4. Slo-pitch can be a real snoozer.
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SEE YOU IN HALOGEN!

Dear Pun Gents, a bromine pun. ~Luke, Roanoke

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Bromine: the preferred element of angry black dudes.
  2. I wrote a song to commemorate the discoverer of bromine: it was a touching Balard
  3. Bromine's favourite band? Non-Metallica.
  4. Bromine is cold. Brrr.
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PEP SMEAR

Dear Pun Gents, our band wants to make t-shirts to wear during pep band season (for basketball games, etc). What are some good band puns? Must be school appropriate. ~Kelly, Laramie, WY

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Salt and Pep-a
  2. Show off your peps!
  3. Think pepsy
  4. Are you Game?
  5. Band in all 50 states!
  6. Cheer ye, Cheer ye!
  7. Bandaconda
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HAVE SOME FUND WITH IT

Dear Pun Gents, I am writing about various fundraising methods for charities. Any ideas? ~Miles, San Antonio, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Non-profit margins
  2. NGOod fundraising strategies
  3. Get your 'char' of the market
  4. Take our advice and all your obstacles to fundraising will receipt.
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BARNEY PUNOFFSKY

Dear Pun Gents, my English class is having a pun-off and I need a team name. ~Cedar, Austin, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. The Punishers
  2. The Ad Homonym Attack
  3. SWordplay
  4. Punasillyin
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WEAK IN THE NEEDS

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for children in need please. ~Liam, Newport, Wales

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Punny for your Tots?
  2. Youngstars
  3. Get down on your needs
  4. Any help is big when they're small.
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O, GRE

Dear Pun Gents, a pun on the letters GRE (general record exam) wishing someone good luck! ~Louise, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. GREat to see such a smart cookie
  2. Gee are ye already finished?
  3. Happy once it's over? I'm sure you'll a GRE.
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“JUST A LITTLE PATIENTS…”

Dear Pun Gents, we need team name for our company quiz night; theme is 'doctors and nurses.' ~Mike, London, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. We Don't ER 
  2. The Intern Nationals
  3. See You in Health
  4. Say Ah…some.
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GATEWAY DOUG

Dear Pun Gents, I'm writing a story told in songs about  the slippery slope of drugs. A guy starts his evening on coffee and TV and ends on heroin. Give me a punning drug/addict related name for him please! ~James, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Spike E.Z. Lee
  2. Gowan S. Mack [go on smack]
  3. Duane D. Hardys-Tuff [doing the hardest stuff]
  4. Gateway Doug

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