Bible Puns

Which Holy Book has been corrupted? The Brible.

Which Old Testament patriarch stuffed a pig under his shirt? A bra ham.

Which prophet refused to kick people in the nuts? Nehemiah.

One book of the Bible deals with ‘brown showers’. They call it Doo-doo on me (Deuteronomy).

Another is about frequenting strip clubs: Love a titty-kiss (Leviticus).

Jesus never cooked with oil. Instead, He wokked on water.

What did David say before slaying the beast? ‘Go lieth down!’

Which king was known for seriousness? Solemn-man.

If Jesus were from Newfoundland, what would He have said on the cross? ‘My cod, my cod – why have you forsaken me?’

You shouldn’t take advantage of Jesus. That would be propheteering.

Was Jesus Persian? Yes, he spoke Phar’see!

Who took His body and prepared it with spices? Joseph of Aromatherapy.

Jesus made cheese from the Milk of an Ungulate. Then, He proclaimed the Gouda Gnus!

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