FIELDING EACH OTHER UP

Dear Pun Gents, I need a pun for a company Halloween-costume contest. We're two girls dressed in softball uniforms; what can we be? ~Lisa, Chicago

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Bat the Bone
  2. Bleacher Blondes
  3. The Hosox

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KERNELS OF WISDOM

Dear Pun Gents, a pun about popcorn. ~Isabella, San Francisco

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. 'Pop' literature is often described as Orvillian
  2. Punsters tend to pop corny jokes.
  3. I microwaved it for hours but it wouldn't pop. That's pretty hard corn!
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DODGY REQUEST

Dear Pun Gents, I need a good team name for my school dodge-ball tournament. Any dodge-ball puns? ~Jimmy, O'Fallon, MO

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Motherduckers
  2. Balls to the Wall
  3. Dodge Ram
  4. Dodgins and Dragons

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BLAST THE MUSIC

Dear Pun Gents, something to do with Islamic terrorists and music….maybe techno? ~Joe, London UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Why techno? What's wrong with "La Bomba"?
  2. Iraq and Roll
  3. Starbucks is selling terrorist albums. Enjoy one with a nice decap cappuccino.
  4. Too Legit Tikrit
  5. Biggie Somalis?
  6. It's the All Jazz Era!
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JOHN COUGAR TENNIS CAMP

Dear Pun Gents, I need a team name for some ladies in their forties going to Florida for a tennis tournament/ladies weekend.  ~Christi, Lafayette, LA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. 40-Love
  2. Net Worth
  3. Balls to the Wall
  4. High Strung Ladies

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BAIT ACCOMPLI

Dear Pun Gents, I need a witty slogan for a retiring boss that somehow includes “Gone Fishin”. ~Aimee, Daytona Beach, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. His employment has been nuked- he’s gone fission.
  2. Caught and Released: Gone Fishin’,
  3. Bait to Rest: Gone Fishin’
  4. Gone Fishin: What a Bassturd!
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WARD GAMES

Dear Pun Gents, I am taking a group of nurses and student nurses to a children's hospital to play board games with them. I need a name for the project please.  ~Jessia, Summit, MS

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Intensive Karaoke
  2. ICU! A Game of Hide and Seek.
  3. Stretcher Imagination
  4. Gurney to the Centre of the Earth
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ALIASININE

Dear Pun Gents, I need a good pun name to use as an Internet alias. To give you an idea of what I want, here are a few of the names I've been using:

  • Major Disaster
  • General Havok
  • The Duke of Duchesses
  • The Marquis of Marquees


~John, Brownwood

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Corporal Pun-ishment
  2. Queen of Meaning
  3. Private Info
  4. My Name is URL
  5. Duke of URL
  6. Twitter and the Monkey Man
  7. Captain Captcha

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LOVE ASHLEY

Dear Pun Gents, my wife and I have been trying to think of an alias for her. She's submitting some pin-up photos of her and our dog to a calendar that benefits dog shelters. Her real first name is: Ashley; Middle name: Christine. She is blonde with green eyes. Any suggestions? ~Fred, Arlington ,TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Daschund Damsel
  2. Hot under the Collie
  3. Hot dogs, with nice buns!
  4. The Green Eyed Blondster

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