Andrew from Dugald:
When the circus comes to town and they want to get new people to join their freak show, do they hold Odditions?
Portobello mushrooms in the morning is a breakfast of champignons!
RESISTANCE IS FERTILE
Dear Pungents, a pun about birth control or contraceptives. ~Andrea, Green Bay, Wisconsin
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Sorry, Andrea, we’re really firing blanks here!”
2) “Does one buy contraception at a condominium?”
3) “Hear about the dyslexic couple who got drunk and tried to conceive while driving? Unfortunately it was a case of IUD.”
4) “What’s a better contraceptive: The Sperminator, or the Great Wall of Vagina? Well, the latter was impregnable“
5) “Do those who work at a sperm bank use the withdrawal method?”
What do you think about Polland?
FREAKQUATIONS
Dear Pungents, a good pun i can use in my algebra class – not using ‘division as the vision’ or a pencil being pointless. Thank you ~Andrew, Fairfield, Connecticut
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Are algebra students smart? Yes, they are vari able individuals.”
2) “The hair-obsessed algebra student was careful to check his coifficient.”
3) “Did the mathematicians in The Matrix drive invertibles?”
4) “Are mathematicians heavy sleepers? Yes, they have BEDMAS.”
YOUTH THE MAN
Dear Pungents, a pun about youth. ~Nicole, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Children have value. They’re very youthful.”
2) “Penning youth puns is not as easy as youth ink.”
3) “Who was the father of child psychology? Carl Jung.”
4) “Some people think the ill and elderly should have the option of killing themselves – especially in heavily populated Eastern countries. But I disagree. Who will look after the youth in Asia?”
The Spearmint Killer held his victims at gumpoint. He threatened to blow everything up.
SHAKING THE BEAUTY
Dear Pungents, a pun about something that will improve and revive skin elasticity, restore collagen effectively, maintain beautiful youthful and supple skin, prevent aging. ~Chen, Kuala Lampur, Malaysia
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “What the elderly lack in beauty, they make up for in intelligence. Each old person is aging-ius (a genius).”
2) “Youthfulness isn’t simply genetic – agene can’t prevent aging.”
3) “Kinky? Skin’s key.”
4) “Skin conditioners don’t work well. There’s always a wrinkle or two.”
5) “Those who go to beauty collagen don’t just pay lips service.”
6) “Jesus gave away all His revitalizing skin creams – at the Last Supple.”
YOU GOTTA BELEAHVE
Dear Pungents, a pun on ‘Leah’. ~Heather, Valdosta
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Leahve me alone
2) One Life to Leahve.
3) Leahway
4) Princess Leah
5) PLeah bargaining
6) Leahther pants
POCKET TO YA, FOOLS!
Dear Pungents, I want to make fun of my friend’s moniker. A pun on ‘fool’ and ‘pocket’ please. Thanks! ~Ryan, Bristol, UK
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Is your pocket fool or are you just happy to see me?”
2) “Man, I suck at pool. Focket!”
3) When Mr. T lost weight he could finally get into his hot tub. He said “I fitty the pool!”
4) (in a parking lot) “If all the spots are fool, then take your car and pocket over there.”

