Dear Pungents, I just underwent laparoscopic surgery (with four enemas, four puncture wounds and three painkiller prescriptions) to remove some ovarian cysts. Do you have any puns to keep me in stiches while I heal? ~Toxic Chi, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) [Point to your puncture wounds] “With rends like these, who needs enemas?”

2) “If Whoopi Goldberg were my doctor, would that make this a Sister-Act-omy?” (cysterectomy, not hysterectomy)

3) “I was anxious prior to the surgery, but I’m glad it’s finally ovary.”

4) “You always take a chance when you have surgery. I just let the chips fallopian where they may.”

5) “I drove to the operating room with ovarian cysts, and I came out with a souped-up Vulva!”

6) “I was swearing like mad before they gave me the painkillers. Nothing like a lil’ ibu-profanity! But I guess all’s well that ends swell. I’m just aspirin’ to get better.”

7) “I’m so elated the surgery was a success – I’m ready to perform a laporoscopic dance!”

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...