Halloween Puns

The ghost was lonely because he didn’t have a ghoulfriend.

Who do they call when a demon needs a personal trainer? The exercist!

Hall o’ wiener: when I decorated my foyer with sausage.

Pumpkin juice + Chardonnay = Hallow’ine?

Impossible to track down: the Wherewolf.

The vampire was known for his awful puns. They called him Count Dreckula.

The giant sea-lizard was a bit of a practical joker. They called him Goadzilla.

If basketball superstar O’Neal dressed up as a pumpkin for Hallowe’en, would he call himself Shaq O’Lantern?

Some prefer getting candy on Hallowe’en, but two days later I like to go out and collect shoes. I call it All Soles Day.

We all know about the rash of unexplained deaths in the village of Sleepy Hollow . But, as an unfortunate sidebar, to deal with all the corpses was a most incompetent funeral director, nicknamed the Heedless Hearseman.

Hansel and Gretel must have misread the invitation – they thought they’d been asked to join the witches coven!

Do posh demons go cruising in a coupe devil?

The wandering minstrel was excited about trick-or-treating. He said, “I hear there’s gonna be lute!”

My house is haunted by the ghosts of a thousand chickens. It’s just like that movie, Poultrygeist.

The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. “I can’t sleep at night,” the man said, “it haunts me still. ” (Irish accent needed)

Was the TV newsman haunted by his exact double? Yes, it was a Koppelganger.

Skeletonnes are heavier than they look.

A skeleton’s favourite Billy Idol song? ‘Bony Bony…’.

Mary Shelley wrote about her good friend Benjamin Franklin’s obsession with German beer. She called it ‘Frank and stein‘.

Where do zombies ‘get down’? In the raveyard. (A good place to get tombstoned?)

You hear about the play they staged in a cemetery? It got grave reviews.

Never ask a warlock where he works: it tends to be a ‘sorce’ spot.

In Canada the werewolves are obsessed with ‘hockey hairdos’. In fact they can only be killed with a silver mullet.

When demons go to university, they get to take a lot of hellectives.

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