Andrew from Dugald:
What made the Americans finally yank their troops out of Vietnam?
They just found the war was getting really Hanoi-ing.
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(Rate This Pun)Loading...Marc from Toronto:
What do you call a circus equine that’s been excessively twirled upon?
A pummelled horse!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Calvin from Edmonton:
A kinky young nurse with some body
Had very good cause to be haughty
To her masseuse she did yield
While she barely revealed
That she was exceptionally knotty
Calvin says, “I’ve been on a limerick kick lately. None had any puns though until this one inspired by Allison, your latest Punshine Girl. I reused her pun, added another, and threw in a couple of double meanings. So this is dedicated to her and to my wife who is also a nurse.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Brigg from East Greenbush, NY:
What did the zookeeper say when the large, slow-swimming, aquatic mammal named Hindenburg died?
“Oh, the huge manatee!”
Brigg says, “Hopefully the manatee didn’t explode.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
A dog sledder goes into the Home Depot in Whitehorse and asks an associate if he can get advice on his lead dog birthing puppies. The man in seasonal says: “But of course, that’s our motto: Yukon do it, we can whelp!”
Andrew says, “A perfect combination of a geographical pun and a supplier of mitre boxes. But, then, you might want Nunavut?”
What did the mechanic say when he had tuned up the Chevy Impala?
It runs like Gnu.
Why won’t the Mother Superior let the nuns wear push up bras?
She’s afraid they will be habit forming!
One of Joseph Stalin’s pet projects was the idea of collective farms and he was quite involved in breeding programs. He was very fond of light coloured cows, so much so, he would get rid of the darkest ones…..talk about despot culling the cattle black.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Riva from Vancouver:
Why was the exterminator called to the shopping center?
To get rid of the mall-squitoes.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Marc from Toronto:
What did the undertaker say when he was found driving around after the funeral?
“I was re-hearse-ing!’
I didn’t know whether he should be driving before or after the funeral…a slightly different take on the pun either way. I picked after randomly.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Frank from Eldorado:
There is a guy in Africa who is kind of a folk hero there. His first Robin Hood-like act was when he gypt a convenience store owner of a Khartoum of smokes and gave them to his friends. First he was not caught, because he used Som alias. Later, when he was, he was so good at denile, that he was set free. The authorities knew that if they’d kept him in prison, the people would give them Al Giers. In Africa he con go wherever he wants and he always knows where to go. Rarely, when he is in trouble, he Suez for damages. His only handicap is that he has hemorrhoids, also known in Africa as limp popo.
A small airplane was flying over the Iberian Penisula. Suddenly a blinding rain storm caused the pilot to lose all his visual bearings and for the first time in his life, the pilot and the plane were hopelessly lost and ended up miles from its original destination.
In summary: The plane in Spain strays mainly in the rain.
Where do they keep cows that provide milk for the Egyptian Army?
In moo-barracks.
There have been a lot of accusations levelled at Iran for their nuclear program. But should not the world hear their Persian of the story before passing judgment??
There are rumours that “The Dennis Miller Show” on CNBC is close to being cancelled. CNBC, anxious not to see Mr. Miller unemployed, approached various other networks offering his talents, saying: “Dennis, anyone?”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
Many baseball catchers take a poetic view of the sport….and they HATE making errors. Better to have gloved and tossed, then to have never coughed up a ball.
Andrew says, “Alfred Lord Tennisanyone?”
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
I wanted to get a visa so I could work at a zoo in Australia, but they said I didn’t have the right koalafications for the job.
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