Dear Pungents, Can you come up with a pun for the host of a computers & technology awards ceremony? Thanks! ~Adam, Orlando, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Don’t give anyone here a sandwich. They’ll take a thousand megabites.”

2) “I thought I’d Cobol together a few jokes. But they were too Basic. So I’ll be Turing over a new leaf. Let’s C, plus plus…“

3) “I was late getting here. I was locked up in my Fortran.”

4) “Java good time so far?”

5) “Welcome to my humble Adobe (pronounced A-dowb).”

6) “It was a hard drive coming to this ceremony!”

7) “My friend dug his finger in his nose with gusto, and was so happy when he found something. I guess you could say he was picks-elated?” (ok a bit too much)

8) “I decided to get a sharper monitor. It’s my New Year’s resolution.”

9) “Computers make my mother bored.”

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Dear Pungents, I would like a few puns to say at a wedding for two friends: Timm, an Austrian and Eileen a Scot. ~Ron, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Timm looks like the clear Vienner in this wedding.”

2) “Timm said ‘Don’t be sheepish, you can lean on me.’
She said, ‘That’s right, Eileen on ewe.'”

3) “When they first met, Timm said ‘Can I sit beside you?’
She said in her accent ‘Aye, lean!'”

4) If she turns out to be a cannibal, their love will not German-ate.

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Dear Pungents, can you give me a fictitious country’s ‘olympic team name’ for a curling bonspiel? ~Coralie, Salmon Arm, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) I-rock
2) Estoneia
3) Ice-land (and you’re from Rinkjavik!)
4) Sweepistan
5) Skiptzerland
6) North or South Curlina

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Dear Pungents, here’s a challenge: I need a pun to put on a pen to pass out at a friend’s wedding. (It’s a tradition in our little friend-group to pass out the pens) She’s a smartly dressed designer and he’s an engineer. They both like to work out. ~Laura, Chicago, IL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

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Dear Pungents, I wanted to make lip balms called “Balm Shells” but that name is taken. I need a clever name for a personality-based lip balm, very girly. ~Natalie, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Lipstream
2) Tulip Balm
3) La Balmba
4) Labial me Lovely
5) Loose Lips
6) Hiplips
7) Liposexy (better than liposuction you’ll agree)
8) Miss Kiss/Missy Kissy
9) Lipsterine
10) Nape Lipogon (like Lake Nipigon? no…)

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