KITCHEN NUGGETS

Dear Pungents, perhaps you can make a pun about chefs or cooking students? Thanks! ~ Eida, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Who has to deal with food-poisoning litigation? The sue-chefs! Do sommeliers also make in-cork appearances? Yes, they’re often winin’ in front of a judge!”

2) “What’s the most Pun Gent spice? Pap-reeka.”

3) “On Valentine’s day do chefs set the loven to high?”

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Sean from Toronto:
Why were people confused when two physicians were found frozen together in a glacier?
Because it was pair-a-docs-sicle.

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Vickram from India:
Who was Disney’s connection to organised crime?
Don Ald.

Which bird led the organised crime scene?
The capon di tutti capon.

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HI POD (or is it HELLO, PUNS ON DEMAND?)

Dear Pungents, I read your article in the National Post and thought I’d give you a shot. I’m buying an ipod and get free engraving on the back. I’d like to have it engraved with something related to music; I’m restricted to two lines with 23 characters maximum on each line. Ideas? ~ Kelly, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Hooked on sonics
2) “Causin’ some treble with my bass desires…”
3) Kelly’s meloddities [if you have ‘different’ tastes]
4) “Listen up: i am Poddy-trained!”
5) Ear ye, ear ye
6) Stupod music [if you’re nickname’s Stu]
7) “Only old men get shuffle-bored.”

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Ben from Toronto:
So what if the bird flu, I know birds can fly!

Ben says: “Don’t know if this qualifies as original; it’s something in the news these days and is punny in itself.”

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GRAND FODDER

Dear Pungents, my first grand-daughter, Zoe, was born on Feb 10. She is an Aquarius, born in the year of the rooster. Her parents are the Smiths. Got any puns? ~ Ken, Ottawa, Ontario

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “She was born in the year of the rooster – I know it because I’m a Zoe-ologist!”

2) “It’s the year of the cock, and Team Smith has added Zoe to their rooster.”

3) “Born in February, Zoe’s already got a zest for knowledge – I know she’ll be a-query-us child!”

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SATANIC SNAPPERS

Dear Pungents, with the recent coverage of the Vatican’s decision to back exorcism studies for their priests, I was hoping you could give me some devilish puns! An exorcism course – what could’ve possessed them? ~ Joe, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “A man who’s possessed is also constipatedhe’s got the loo-suffer!”

2) “Sick with demons? My grandma would have them gargoyle with salt water!”

3) “Exorcism course at Vatican U? Is that mandatory or hell-ective?”

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