Star Wars Puns

What movie were you watching when your VW was recalled? Return of the Jetta.

Were the deserts of Luke’s youth havens for body art? Yes, there was lots of Tattoine.

Did the reptilian desert mobster apply his computer programming skills to renovate his home? Yes, he Java’d the Hut!

Why were Han and Luke always after the princess? Because they thought she was quite the Leia.

Which wookie was on the fast-track to mouth cancer? Chewbacco.

Why was the feisty droid unstoppable? Because he was hard-to-de-tour (R2D2).

Why was Captain Calrissian so stupid? Because he was from Clod City.

How did Yoda deal with difficult, whining customers when he worked at a gourmet coffee shop? He said “boo or boo not; there is no chai!”

Are the inhabits of the Third Moon of Endor now cooking Japanese food online? Yes, they’re using their e-woks!

Which fishlike commander was disgusted whenever he entered a tavern? Admiral ‘Ack, bar!’

Can you beat a Gungan at a staring contest? Yes, because Jar Jar blinks!

Which Imperial commander was afraid of swimming? Darth Wader.

Shop for Star Wars paraphernalia at the Darth Mall.

What did people say when the Jedi master was victorious at the video game jujitsu tournamment? ‘Obi Won Shinobi!’

On Hoth did the Chinese restaurants serve tonton soup?

The IRS cracked down on the Jedi master because he Yoda lotta money.

The redneck bounty hunter was known as Bubba Fett.

Why could the rebel space fleet not fly? They were all ex-wings.

What do Jewish Star Wars fans play with? Droidles.

The foul black excretia of the Imperial presence was embodied in the Death’s Tar.

Was 3CPO an early example of a personal robot whore? Yes he was a proto call-droid!

Yoda never let Luke speak during his training – he had to master the jedi mime tricks.

Why didn’t they storm the empire’s base from the shadows? Because Yoda warned them about the dark side of the forts!

Which of Jabba’s henchmen made millions selling licorice? Nib Fortuna.

The windshield of the Millenium Falcon was so small – they could barely achieve wiper-space!

Why did Mark Hamill’s career fizzle? Because he was taken out by the star-destroyer.

Liam Neeson was not known for his big rear end; in fact on set they called him the Phantom Man-Ass.

How did the grey-haired jedi-nemesis threaten his victims? “I’ll Count Dooku, then I’ll shoot.”

The queen’s handmaiden was self-conscious about her bosom – they jokingly referred to her as Padme.

The Gungan leader was into chasing tail and listening to Springsteen – they called him Boss ‘n’ Ass.

Which rebel pilot loved Tex-Mex potato skins? Wedge-and-chilies!

Which father of a bounty hunter was partial to tropical fruit parties? Mango Fete!

Which Jedi leader cleaned his corn with ammonia spray? Maize Windex!

Which Imperial general made out in the back seat? Gran Moff Parkin. 

Hayden Christensen can’t act. They should have renamed his character Mannequin Skywalker!

Despite having drunk wine, the rebel pilots were cleared to fly. After all, they had just one Red Litre.

Which Naboo captain defecated in a pan? Captain Pankaka!

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