Television and Radio Puns

They’re replacing SNL with an offbeat cooking show. It’s called Saturday Night Liver.

Where can you watch nothing but Nolte? See-NN

The shock jock would interrupt his guests so often – they took to calling him Howard’s Turn.

Not every day! Jon’s too hurt to do the Daily Show.

Pavarotti has taken to hanging out on daytime talk shows. Because he’s an Oprah singer.

Which host is in a hurry to amputate sheep legs? Rush Limb-baah.

Which lefty personality likes to rate his favourite episodes from the show about the creature from planet Melmac? Alf Ranken.

Is the age we live in like a soap opera? No, but it’s so a pop era.

Some production companies use a seedy setting for filming. For TJ Hooker for example, the title character’s scenes were described as ‘Shat-on-location‘.

Radio has taught us a grim lesson: Life is FMeral, with everyone just walking about AMlessly, waiting to dial. 

Puns about radio frequencies should be band.

Do midget supermodels listen to short-waif radio?

When the popular Mr. Jones was put in jail his fans took to the radio dial, calling for the producer’s release on every free quincy.

Do bipolar sufferers watch sad-delight television?

Which popular evening show features an all-male gangbang? Enter Ten Men Tonight!

Hear about the sitcom with the ‘fish out of water’ plotlines? It’s called ‘Who’s the Bass?’. 

Then there was that documentary about the overcrowded Indian reserve, ie Full Hows.

The sitcom about the berserk ‘home-improvement’ father who runs amok with his tools and murders his wife and kids? Awl in the Family.

The new courtroom drama will be called Everybody Loves Arraignment.

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Tupac Shakur Puns

Which deceased rapper had a thing for pop divas? Tupac Shakira.

Which deceased rapper once owned a beef ranch? Moo-pack Shakur.

Which deceased rapper couldn’t quite get the buff abs he wanted? ‘Two-pack’ Shakur.

Which deceased rapper designed Shaquille O’Neal’s website? Tupac Shaq-URL.

Which deceased rapper healed the great Iranian leader? Tupac Shah-cure.

Which deceased rapper beat his drug problem? Tupac Shook her.

Which deceased rapper battled Parkinson’s? Tupac Shaker.

Which deceased rapper enjoyed Japanese poetry? Tupac Shaiku-r.

Which deceased rapper was an avant-garde, self-mutilating male prostitute? Tupac Shock-whore.

Which deceased rapper was staunchly opposed to US unilateralism? Group-Act Shakur.

Which deceased rapper would put a pair of Sweet-N-Low’s in every cup of coffee? Two-pack o’ Sugar.

Which deceased rapper enjoyed doodling outlines of sheep? Tupac Chalk-ewer.

Which deceased rapper had a mid-sized economy sedan? Topaz Shakur.

FINALLY-

Why does the deceased rapper’s music always make one less nervous about preparing luggage for a trip? Because – there’s always time Tupac!

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