Classical musicians make me laugh. Those are symphony people.
The people of Helsinki have never been a fan of Schubert’s UnFinnish Symphony.
Which band is raising a stink? New Odour.
What band do farmers play when their opium crop fails? Skinny Poppy!
Which band was inspired by puffy toy animals? Nerf-fauna.
As fans of Axl and Slash, Pat and Rhain’s favourite rock band is Puns ‘n’ Groanses.
What’s a Scotsman’s favourite U2 song? ‘With or Without Ewe’.
Man cannot live on bread alone? Au contraire! As the Beatles sang, ‘All You Need Is Loaf’.
Which Beatle was communist? John Lenin.
All of Pearl Jam’s decisions are to be approved by Eddie Vetter.
Which songstress got a ligament transplant from rocker Cocker? Joe-knee Mitchell!
Which folksinger was an oil baron? Bob Drillin’.
” was hung up on actress Bancroft? Bob Dial-Anne.
” killed his internet server? Bob Die-LAN.
” loved colourful wool sweaters? Bob Dye-lamb.
Which rocker gave up a career as a chicken trainer? Jimi Hentricks!
Who’s famous for his sugary ballads? Bon-bon Jovi!
REM’s popular hit about facing your inner heart of darkness? ‘Everybody Kurtz’.
Which artist has been prostrate since childhood? Kneel Young.
Can the singer of Purple Rain really boogie? Who – Prance?
Which diva’s a target for media muckrakers? Mudonher!
Which Beatle was hounded by puck bunnies during his stellar hockey career? Rink-ho Starr!
Which band is horny? The Sax Pistols!
Which 60s band was implicated in terrorism? The Hamas and the Papas!
Musical genius? Eminem is no smartie.
Which British group jogs in the morning? Dew-ran Dew-ran!
Was Boy George a stickler for punctuation? Yes, he wrote Comma-chameleon!
What U2 album was a joke? The Josh-ua Tree!
Which Beatles album had buzz? Api Road!
Which classical composer was lured into a furnace? Ludwig van Bait-oven!
You’re lucky if the composer of the Hungarian Rhapsody makes your acquaintance – you can add him to your Franz Liszt!
Which composer likes to cut wood? Chopin.
Who’s Salt-N-Pepa’s favourite composer? Franz Shoop-ert.
Which composer’s routine consisted of drinking tea, hacking his lungs out, and then hitting the slopes? Chai-cough-ski!
Which producer gets all worked up? Brian Emo.
Who gets a kick out of math? Joy Division.
Which act had a smallish frontman? Runty MC!
Who launched an ad campaign to fight crabs? Pube-Lice Enemy!
The U2 guitarist was wise to drop of high school – his music career offered a better Edge-ucation.
U2’s Larry Mullin’ Junior can’t decide on having a baby.
Tony Danza’s favourite band? Oh-eh-sis!
Who never shut up on a flight? Janis Jaw-plane!
Who ended up as Zamboni drivers? Rink Floyd.
Who’s marries anyone, as long as they’re eye-candy? Jennifer Elope-pez.
Whose voice causes cattle stampedes? Moo-riot Carey.
Who developed a German beer using mineral water? Brews Spring-Stein.
Have you heard ‘Danger Jelly‘ – the latest from Peril Jam?
Which group shaved their pubic hair? Bush Ex.
Were Paul and Art depressed after reluctantly adding a third member to their act? Yes, they were now nicknamed Sigh, Moan & Gar-Funk-el.
Gwen stopped being shy about exposing her knotty leg muscles to public view – “After all,” she said, “we’re Node Out.”
Who will paint your van? Inkubus!
The British dance group gets nervous about zapping cattle – they’re Prod-itchy.
Which Detroit punkers cut a large swath of musical destruction? The Wide Strips.
Which alterna band still believes in Santa Claus? Saw-Nick Youth.
Which band prefers not to wear clothes? Garb-itch.
At the site of the famous plane wreck the emergency crews discovered a horrid sight: Bloody Holly, Richie’s Valentrails, and a steaming carcass aka the Big Glop.
Flea’s favourite bar food? Chili Poppers.
Who are rock giants? Metall-ica.
Who’s the techno artist famous for sad songs? Mopy.
The Chemo-kill brothers died from radiation therapy.
Which band tolerates meateaters? The Beef-if-ya-choose (B52s)
Is Rush an optimistic group? Yes: drummer Neil is pert, guitarist Alex is Laughson, and the frontman sings quite geddy-lee.
Who spends a lot of time in the bathroom? Loo Read!