Toronto Puns (Pt II)

In honour of the Toronto Municipal Election)

Rhain: Toronto has a lot of serious problems that need fixing. For example, the waterfront.
Pat: Yes, everyone knows the Waterfront is a bloated, lifeless body.
Rhain: Did you know their mandate is to make Torontonians worship coral?
Pat: Worship coral? Is that their idea of waterfront reef-idolization? Ridiculous!
Rhain: Toronto Island residents especially know that their city is going to the Docks.
Pat: And the Leslie Street Spit is just disgusting. It’s a floating cesspool.
Rhain: Well, I disagree on that one. I think the Spit is saliva with a wonderful phlegm buoyancy!
Pat: But there are problems all over the city. Take the Exhibition for example. I don’t CNE reason to keep it going.
Rhain: Fair enough.
Pat: Then there’s the Eatin’ Centre – just one big food court. And the city streets are too dangerous!
Rhain: Yeah. There is juvenile deliquency at Yonge and Steeles.
Pat: And then there was the murder of Roger Moore, he was killed at Bond and Shuter. Also there are seedy ‘massage parlours’ at John and Front.
Rhain: Aren’t those run by the Mafia? I hear they dump their bodies in the Don Valley.
Pat: Yeah, well, on a lighter note, the rent is cheap but the water is too hot where I live.
Rhain: You mean Bathurts and Lowrents?
Pat: And the buildings in Toronto are so old. Think of the B.C.E. Place.
Rhain: Really? I thought it was built in the ADs. But, there is also no subway construction. Progress on the Sheppard line is slow as Mellastman.
Pat: I don’t think it’s slow. In fact the subway can be quite racy. I took a ride with my girlfriend the other day. Bloor line down, and when it reached Coxwell I had no choice but to get off.
Rhain: That’s disgusting!
Pat: Anyway.. to close, after this election Toronto mayor or may not see improvement.
Rhain: Yes – but with our puns you’ll always know what we stink.

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