Religious suicide bombers? Some of these wacky terrorists have been smoking the koranic.

The effects of Viagra have been shown to be counter-acted by ingesting A spurt tame.

As an art buff, I’m always hopped up on sedatives. Life is more anaesthetically pleasing that way.

Hear about the movie about drug users? It’s rated ‘addled accompaniment‘.

The value of medicinal marijuana is a bit doobious. It shouldn’t be token seriously. Don’t get your nose out of joint, but there is a lot of spliffy new research that says so—420 new papers a year.

Breaking (Wind) News!

Check out Pat’s performance at the 2009 O. Henry Pun-Off:

NED: Eating yogurt gives me pornographic hallucinations.
ED: Really?
NED: Yeah. I think it’s the acidophallus.

The birth-control pill is no guarantee against pregnancy—there are a lot of missed conceptions about that.

Did you hear about the remake of the classic Star Wars film? It was set inside the Drug Enforcement Administration, and it was called The Hemp Pyre: Strike Match.

That potheads will always stay up to watch late-night comedy is known as the Law of Reefer-action, aka SNL’s law.

Wired? Then why read?

To some, marijuana is precious. They think it should be Smeagolized.

Did the film Reefer Madness have a tokin’ black guy?

Pharmaceuticals is a vial industry.

How potheads propose:

“Marriage… u wanna?”

The renegade Star Wars pilot lived a bachelor’s life, without a wife or girlfriend. They called him Hand Solo. Occasionally he would chew ‘bacco.

My dad tried to fuel his car with Viagra. Erected pretty bad. Though I also heard the AAA is trying to pass off Viagra as fuel. I think they’re stiffing their members with that one! The cops pulled me over and said ‘Here, penis cup.’ Also, Viagra has a new celebrity spokesman. That’s right: Randy Johnson.

Was everyone on drugs during the Stoneage?

PSAs for erectile dysfunction are so Viagravating.

Is the overuse of prescription drugs leading to the End of the World?

Yes, Pharmageddon aka the Apothecalypse.

Another update from South America’s War on Drugs:

After years of kidnappings, brutal assassinations and jungle warfare, suddenly an olive branch! Guerrillas from the Medellin drug cartel have actually been invited to recite Cocaine Poetry at a Colombian state banquet. Many law-abiding citizens, however, are upset at this diplomatic contra-verse-y.

How do advertisers boost sales of Gravol?

They tell customers to take it at nauseum.