Andrew from Dugald:

Did you hear that the esteemed auto-maker Toyota has a problem with cats getting caught in a certain model’s fan-belts? It would seem their funky little econo-box is a Scion of fur-chew!

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

Did you hear that the esteemed auto-maker Toyota has a problem with cats getting caught in a certain model’s fan-belts? It would seem their funky little econo-box is a Scion of fur-chew!

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

Even in ancient Rome, they had bankruptcy problems. Cassius and Brutus were partners in a chain of liquor marts, and were almost too successful. While the shops started out with good trade, they failed to carry adequate stock and customers grew tired of not getting the amphorae they came for. Eventually Cassius had to break the news that they were broke. “The fault is not in our stores, dear Brutus, but in our shelves.”

When the Scotsman who had trained my seeing-eye dog finally gave the leash over to me, he also gave me clear instructions to give him a wee bit of beer each day. Apparently he thought it was ale for what guides ye.

I was explaining to my friend how I use special shears to prune the branches on my rose bushes. All of a sudden he starts telling me about how he was circumcised at the age of 22, and he doesn’t like someone speaking about cutting anything. Talk about a set of non-secateurs!

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

I asked my local priest why he never did funeral services before noon. He yawned and said, “I’m not really a mourning parson“.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

Archaeologists have unearthed a heretofore unknown weapon while digging at Machu Pichu. Designed to stun ememies instead of killing them, the slingshot-like device used potatoes as ammunition! Dubbed ” the Inca-pasi-tater“, it has led them to wonder if a “Machu Pea Shooter” is laying there, just waiting to be discovered.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

George Bush actually thinks his nation’s national song is better than Iraq’s. Just another example of his US anthem attitude.

I guess Andrew is with us! – Pun Gent Rhain

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

Researchers have found that if they reverse the molecular structure of sugar from a left hand spiral to a right hand one, it still tastes sweet, but the body won’t absorb it. A spokesman expressed surprise that the sugar could in fact be ambidextrose.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

Which Scottish hero was the first to forego the traditional sporan for holding his money, and used a billfold instead?

William Wallets.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

Why is it so hard to get people to recycle, especially plastic water bottles? Scientists say it may be a genetic trait, or in fact, a polycarbonate instinct.

San Franrisco is home to the first enclosed housing development devoted to homosexuals named Theodore. Where else would you expect to find a Gay Ted community?

Oliver Stone is coming out with a new documentary about a Swedish pod of baleen whales that scour all small life from the sea, without remorse. Its title? “Natural Bjorn Krillers.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...

Andrew from Dugald:

Slogan for a Dermatologist who can magically make acne vanish: “We’ve got all the ex-zits covered!”

How does Prince Charles invite his wife to use the commode ahead of himself? He simply says: “Camilla, Park yer bowels!”

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
Loading...