Ben from Toronto:
I am not watching the new Star Wars movie; there’s something about it that doesn’t sith well with me.
Ben says, “lame but walks ;-)”
Also
Why did the columnist fall for his assistant?
He had no choice, she was a fast type.
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Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
What made the Americans finally yank their troops out of Vietnam?
They just found the war was getting really Hanoi-ing.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Marc from Toronto:
What do you call a circus equine that’s been excessively twirled upon?
A pummelled horse!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Calvin from Edmonton:
A kinky young nurse with some body
Had very good cause to be haughty
To her masseuse she did yield
While she barely revealed
That she was exceptionally knotty
Calvin says, “I’ve been on a limerick kick lately. None had any puns though until this one inspired by Allison, your latest Punshine Girl. I reused her pun, added another, and threw in a couple of double meanings. So this is dedicated to her and to my wife who is also a nurse.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Brigg from East Greenbush, NY:
What did the zookeeper say when the large, slow-swimming, aquatic mammal named Hindenburg died?
“Oh, the huge manatee!”
Brigg says, “Hopefully the manatee didn’t explode.”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, I work for the President & CEO of a hospital and we are organizing a team for the hospital’s annual walk. The team consists of senior management (president, vps and chief of staff as well as their administrative assistants). Can you think of a name for us? Thanks. ~ Mary, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) The Walkie-Talkies – b/c you need to get your message out there.
2) The Charity Chairs (and one more makes it Three Chairs for all of you!)
3) The directors and administrators of the Charity Walk – ie the Hosp. Skips and Adjuncts (contrasting ‘walk’ with Hop Skip and a Jump … with ‘skip’ as in skippers or leaders)
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Dear Pungents, Belinda has crossed the floor! What say you, P-Genti? ~Michael, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) Belinda? Man, she changes colours so quick she’s like a chameleon. They should call her Blenda!
2) Paul Martin government’s living on borrowed time, not to mention borrowed Tories. Call me dyslexic, but he should never a borrower nor a linda Be-.
3) I knew her hot liaison with the studly Mackay, after it became public, was bound to peter ‘out’.
4) Stronach’s becoming Liberal? How Magnanimous!
5) Ambition’s her weakness – she’s got a Strong-ache for power!
6) All this transparent political maneovring makes me sick – I just don’t have the Stronach for it!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Andrew from Dugald:
A dog sledder goes into the Home Depot in Whitehorse and asks an associate if he can get advice on his lead dog birthing puppies. The man in seasonal says: “But of course, that’s our motto: Yukon do it, we can whelp!”
Andrew says, “A perfect combination of a geographical pun and a supplier of mitre boxes. But, then, you might want Nunavut?”
What did the mechanic say when he had tuned up the Chevy Impala?
It runs like Gnu.
Why won’t the Mother Superior let the nuns wear push up bras?
She’s afraid they will be habit forming!
One of Joseph Stalin’s pet projects was the idea of collective farms and he was quite involved in breeding programs. He was very fond of light coloured cows, so much so, he would get rid of the darkest ones…..talk about despot culling the cattle black.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Riva from Vancouver:
Why was the exterminator called to the shopping center?
To get rid of the mall-squitoes.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Marc from Toronto:
What did the undertaker say when he was found driving around after the funeral?
“I was re-hearse-ing!’
I didn’t know whether he should be driving before or after the funeral…a slightly different take on the pun either way. I picked after randomly.
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