VOLUNTARY VERBIAGE

Dear Pungents, my friend and I run an arts and crafts program for street youth at our church and are looking for pun ideas to attract the kids to our craft table (and away from the video games table, basketball court and eating area). What can we say and do to lure the youth to us? ~ Jo, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Tonight’s activity is macrame – something weave all been waiting for!”

2) “Making bracelets – you can’t bead it!”

3) “If you won’t carve wood with us then whittle you do?”

4) “What’s better than smoking up? Getting soap-stoned!”

5) “Stop playing Tomb Raider, and meet the real Lara Craft.”

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SOFT-WHERE?

Dear Pungents, a coworker of mine is stuck in Vancouver waiting to test a software project which – because of our supervisor – is months past due and doesn’t seem to be coming along. What can he say to our boss to get his ass moving on the project? ~ Eric, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You’re moving slower than my programma!”

2) “Is this beta-testing or wait-a-testing?”

3) “This software delay is an unbearable wait on my folders!”

4) “If you ever leave this job, you can put on your resume that you were a ‘computer notwork supervisor’.”

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