NEED-SLAPPERS

Dear Pungents, I need a name for a group of 10-to-16 year olds whose brothers or sisters have significant special needs. The siblings seem to have the same twisted sense of humour/coping skills as their parents, and are quite comfortable with “Autism Rocks!” or “My brother got encephalitis and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” jokes. What can you come up with that makes people laugh with them?
~ Anonymous

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “The Emergency Roomers – practically paying rent at the hospital.”

2) “The Special Nerds – when it comes to disabilities, we know it all.”

3) “Patients with Patience.”

4) [shirt to wear in hospital] “You’re looking at a familiar face: ICU every day.”

5) “More Kissable than Disable – my special needs sister/brother is cute!”

6) [bonus nonpun] “My sister’s in the hospital – and I’m in therapy.”

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Andrew from Dugald, MB:
When their cold-war era leader died, did the Kremlin phone the mortuary for a pick up Andropov?

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SPONSOR RESPONSE

Dear Pungents, a tasteful pun please for a small child sponsorship organization that works in villages in developing countries. ~ Pat, Halifax, Nova Scotia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “For the price of a glass of Koolade, they get a month of school aid.”

2) “Poverty envelopes them; you can develop them.” (not pun but catchy slogan)

3) “Give a dam: help stop the rising tide of child poverty.”

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Ben from Toronto:
Tag line for call centres – ‘We prey for you 24/7′
For Hyatt Hotels – ‘Home is where the Hyatt is‘.

Ben says: “I don’t know that much about staying at the Hyatt but thought that
this would have looked good on one of their ads … or maybe not …”

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FE-MAIL

Dear Pungents, I’m in a group of 12 girlfriends (in their 30’s and 40’s) who meet monthly to do some interesting themed activity or learn fun new things like scrapbooking, wreath-making at Christmas, etc. We need a name for our group; we meet once a month, and we are women, but please don’t use PMS or anything similar in the title! ~ Cindy, Duncan, BC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) The Genial Estrogenies

2) The Galcoholics (Galcoholics Eponymous?)

3) The Duncan Women’s Club: Friends, Fun, and Lifelong Mammaries

4) Pack of Chicklets

5) The No-guys-collage-ists! [‘gynecologists’ – sorry!]rry!]

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Brigg from East Greenbush, NY:
What happened to Brigg as he was shopping for Granny Smith’s and took the one at the bottom of the pile?
He got caught in an apple-lanche.

AND

Did you hear that new Foo Fighters tune about Greek food?
There Goes my Gyro‘ (pronounced yee-ro)

Brigg says: “I can’t get enough of these…”

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Frank from Eldorado, ON:
What do Mexicans call a very small Muslim place of worship?
Mosquito.

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BON-MOT SPIEL

Dear Pungents, I’m emceeing the opening night of a curling bonspiel, where we auction off the teams prior to play, and I need a pun or two. We do bios of each team, which are generally quite punny themselves. This is a gender-mixed event, featuring people who work mostly in energy exploration or related companies. Thank you. ~ Jerry, Halifax, NS

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You may have heard of our next team – they’ve got quite the sonic broom!”

2) “All our teams display a lot of end-ergy.

3) “Geothermal engineers in a bonspiel? Heck, this isn’t brain surgery – it’s rock science!”

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PUN GENTS STEP UP TO PLATE

Dear Pungents, my computer consulting firm needs a name for our slo-pitch team. We support all kinds of systems, from mainframe to web-based applications. What can you come up with that combines slo-pitch with computers? Please don’t use my real name. ~‘Ruprecht’, Edmonton, Alberta

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) The 26-inning RAMathoners (Marathoners)
2) Bats n’ Bytes
3) The HTMLs – we’ll tag you
4) FLASH in the pens (refers to those in the bullpen)
5) The Ty COBOLs
6) Microsoftball (or just plain Microsoft)
OR
7) Macrosoft – we’re in the big leagues!

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