Umpires eject anyone who gives heroin to an itchy bloodsucker – because it’s flea spikes and yer out!
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Loading... (Rate This Pun)Loading... (Rate This Pun)Loading...Brigg from East Greenbush, NY:
What happened to Brigg as he was shopping for Granny Smith’s and took the one at the bottom of the pile?
He got caught in an apple-lanche.
AND
Did you hear that new Foo Fighters tune about Greek food?
‘There Goes my Gyro‘ (pronounced yee-ro)
Brigg says: “I can’t get enough of these…”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Frank from Eldorado, ON:
What do Mexicans call a very small Muslim place of worship?
Mosquito.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...BON-MOT SPIEL
Dear Pungents, I’m emceeing the opening night of a curling bonspiel, where we auction off the teams prior to play, and I need a pun or two. We do bios of each team, which are generally quite punny themselves. This is a gender-mixed event, featuring people who work mostly in energy exploration or related companies. Thank you. ~ Jerry, Halifax, NS
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You may have heard of our next team – they’ve got quite the sonic broom!”
2) “All our teams display a lot of end-ergy.“
3) “Geothermal engineers in a bonspiel? Heck, this isn’t brain surgery – it’s rock science!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...PUN GENTS STEP UP TO PLATE
Dear Pungents, my computer consulting firm needs a name for our slo-pitch team. We support all kinds of systems, from mainframe to web-based applications. What can you come up with that combines slo-pitch with computers? Please don’t use my real name. ~‘Ruprecht’, Edmonton, Alberta
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) The 26-inning RAMathoners (Marathoners)
2) Bats n’ Bytes
3) The HTMLs – we’ll tag you
4) FLASH in the pens (refers to those in the bullpen)
5) The Ty COBOLs
6) Microsoftball (or just plain Microsoft)
OR
7) Macrosoft – we’re in the big leagues!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Marc from Toronto punned:
Why isn’t Toulouse the best city in the world to live in?
Because To Win is a lot better!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...OPTICAL EFFUSION
Dear Pungents, I need a pun about an optical education. ~ Ian, Edmonton, Alberta
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Which drugs do ophthalmalogists smoke? Myopium!”
2) “Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?”
3) “Who could snag rebounds, even in the dark? Dennis Rod-man!”
4) “I thought I was doing well at optometry, but I got a see on my exam!”
5) “How do Wiccan opticians get rid of insect infestations? Perform a see ants!”
6) “Becoming a hawkulist is nothing to spit at.”
7) “Studying optometry lens itself to a good career; that’s no eye-dle spec-ulation!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...HAT STUFF
Dear Pungents, I read a fab article about you in the National Post. I work for an accounting firm and I need a funny phrase about the new advisory group serving our North York office. They’ll work with the many different industry groups; we’re giving them a hat because they’ll be ‘wearing many hats’ in their role. Can you think of a good phrase to put on the hats? Thanks so much! ~Lisa, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Advisory groups – the multi-hatted hydra of accounting”
2) “More than just beanie-counting“
3) “From fedora-l revenue agents to fez-cal (fiscal) experts – they all toque (talk) to us!”
4) “Work harder or I’ll cap yo ass!”
5) “I work with 3 industry groups – it’s a hat-trick!””
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Tony from parts unknown:
Sometimes I get my mords wixed, ……..but then I am a very fart smeller!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Doug from San Juan, California:
1) I have a cat with a strange illness. Whenever it sees a rug, it tries to burrow under it, madly chasing an invisible prey. What is the name of its disease ?????
Carpet Tunnel Syndrome!
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