Sean from Toronto:
Why did the old man throw away his Depends after a failed sex change operation?
Because a botched crotch never soils.
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Loading... (Rate This Pun)Loading... (Rate This Pun)Loading...SYM-FUNNY
Dear Pungents, I need a phrase/slogan to promote a symphony orchestra. ~ Mary, Toronto
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “I heard that whales like to sing – in the orca-stra!”
2) “We’re so good you better bring a vomit bag – we’ll make mu-sic!“
3) “We get so excited when we play – you should see our tromboner!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...CARD BLANCHE
Dear Pungents, I need a pun to write on my friend’s 19th birthday card. I want him to know that I really appreciate his help and his jokes. ~ Kathryn, Vancouver
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “You’re lucky you’re no longer fodder for cannibals. They only ate teens!”
2) “If it wasn’t for all your kelp, I’d have long ago started smoking pot. Then I’d only see weed!”
3) “I love how you’re always a round – so happy girthday!”
4) “Harpy bday – I pulled some strings to write you these jokes!”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Riva from Vancouver:
Why should fathers encourage their daughter’s to eat melon?
So they “canteloupe“!
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Ben from Toronto:
The plea of someone harassed by creditors – “Please leave me a loan“.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Guybrush from Toronto:
The U.N. stops by Jack Astors for lunch.
After they finish eating, the waitress says,”Would anyone like dessert? Tea? Kofi?”
(Rate This Pun)Loading...TRIBUTE TO A POPE-ULAR GUY!
Dear Pungents, I need a pun about the pope’s recent surgery to use at the hospital where I work. Please help!
~ Rob, Kingston, Ontario
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “Don’t give up Pope!”
2) “When the doctors inserted the tracheotomy tube, all they heard was a loud popeing sound.”
3) “Let’s hope he gets well soon, since he’s so pope-ular!”
4) “The pope was tired, so the doctors told him to trach (“trake”) five.”
5) “I hope the pope gets well. He’s such a powerful guy. His influenza is felt around the world!”
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Amber from Victoria:
What was the fairy tale writer’s favourite French seafood dish?
Poisson boots.
Why did the salmon break up with her lobster boyfriend?
He was just way too shellfish.
What do you call an old mischievous ghost?
A polter-geezer.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...Timo from Victoria:
Where might not be the best place to host an arms conference?
Newcombe Auditorium.
(Rate This Pun)Loading...LANCE IN YOUR PANTS
Dear Pungents, what can give me about a 60-year-old male named Lance who is infatuated with a new lady-friend and is acting like a swooning teenager? ~ Les, Duncan, BC
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
1) “That man is a snake! He is carrying on like it’s an affair-de-Lance!”
2) “He’s acting so strangely! It baffles me how this new woman continues to be excited about visiting such foreign Lance!”
3) “Our male friend gets on our nerves every night – I’m tiring of Lance a lot!”
4) “I’m just not N’Sync with Lance’s Bass desires!”
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