SLIPPERY CANSWERVATIVES?

Dear Pungents, I need a snappy title for my university paper about the elusive Canadian neo-conservative. Up for the challenge? ~ Ashley, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) PC phone home: getting in touch with the neo-Con-adian

2) Neo-can-undrum: wither right wing?

3) The Great Right North

4) What’s the Tory, morning glory?

5) Can-servative vessels finding safe Harper? [ok this is a bit ridiculous]

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RENTAL GIANTS

Dear Pungents, I loved the story in the Post! Both I and my mother-in-love adore puns and punditry so we wish you the best of luck. I’m looking for a pun about urban living, modern life and rentals or leasing. Trying to get a name for a potential rental business, and I love puns. Please prove my husband wrong. ~ LeAnne, Calgary

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) Affordable Rentals – it’s the lease you can do!

2) City Gardens Leasing: Lettuce let you!

3) Good Relationship Properties: where Meeting the ‘Rents isn’t so painful.

4) Cosmopolitan Rentals: where urban meets turban

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Howard from Victoria:
I sing in a Chamber Choir and we had to take a long break one evening after an incident. We had been singing lustily, something we knew and had a full head of steam up. Our Choral Director brought us to an abrupt halt with “No, no, no…..” and I said audibly, “Don’t you just hate chorus interruptus?”

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Andrew from Dugald, Manitoba:
It’s a little known fact, but Liverpudlians drink their water un-filtered, right from the river! Even the Beatles knew the quality of Mersey is not strained.

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HAPPY PUNNIVERSARY

Dear Pungents, I need a pun for the celebration of 50 years of marriage. ~ Gerry, Victoria, British Columbia

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “To make it to our golden anniversary, I had to offer her more carats than sticks!”

2) “Our marriage hasn’t got the bite it once did – fifty years later and I’m her in-denture-d servant!”

3) [after already making a pun] “I shouldn’t make such pungent remarks on my fiftieth anniversary – but she is my beloved whiff!”

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KITCHEN NUGGETS

Dear Pungents, perhaps you can make a pun about chefs or cooking students? Thanks! ~ Eida, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Who has to deal with food-poisoning litigation? The sue-chefs! Do sommeliers also make in-cork appearances? Yes, they’re often winin’ in front of a judge!”

2) “What’s the most Pun Gent spice? Pap-reeka.”

3) “On Valentine’s day do chefs set the loven to high?”

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Sean from Toronto:
Why were people confused when two physicians were found frozen together in a glacier?
Because it was pair-a-docs-sicle.

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Vickram from India:
Who was Disney’s connection to organised crime?
Don Ald.

Which bird led the organised crime scene?
The capon di tutti capon.

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