Dear Pungents, I just read the Taiwan puns, and am hoping you can come up with something for Holland, where I am living and studying until July. ~ Kristen, Maastricht, Holland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “I took my bike with me on my trip. There is nothing better than Holland ass in a race!”

2) “Wooden you like to take home some clogs as a souvenir?”

3) “This country is so big. Some parts are so far out of the way they call them as the nether lands!”

4) Hear about the beaver that mated with the hamster? It started building hamster dams!

5) The inhabitants of Holland love to talk. After all, each citizen has two lips!

6) Those in the capital don’t seem to like the rest of the country. The rapper P-Diddy had to tell them, “Don’t Hague!”

[On a side note, this POD request was fulfilled and posted within 30 minutes of receipt]

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, I’m living and teaching in Taiwan. I’d like some puns about Asia and Asian culture to share with my co-workers and some of my better students. Suggestions? ~ Kirk, Taichung, Taiwan

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Which personality type dominates Taiwan? Taipei!”

2) “Which eastern religion is most serious? Broodhism.”

3) “Do dogs in Asia drive Shitzubishis?”

4) “Were Chairman Moo’s policies an udder disaster?”

5) “Who attacked the Great Whale of China? The Shamu-rai!”

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, I’m a tax lawyer putting together a team for a curling tournament at work. I need a team name that combines a “tax” theme with “curling”. Any suggestions? ~ Jay, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) The End-Rons (for four guys named ron) OR End-drawn Scandals
2) Fiscal and Sweepert
3) Frozen Assets
4) The Icy Taxticians
5) (Star Wars, Episode II:) A Tax of the Stones
6) The Broomocrats
7) Ministry of Fine Ends

8) (bonus:) When End-imals Attax!

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, I instruct a weekly spinning class and am in need of funny ways to motivate my cyclists to push themselves. I need to tell them to stop slacking – but in a nice way! ~ Alex, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You wanna be strong like Popeye – get the spin-itch!“

2) “You want results now, then you have to pay the price now, not later – this ain’t no credit card-io class!“

3) “This isn’t easy – so get your ‘hard’ rate up!“

4) “I’ll have to call you Pansy – those ain’t no flower pedals!“

5) “Your connections won’t help you in my class – I’m immune to influence pedalling!”

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, we just had a baby and have received a ton of flowers with no place to put them. How do I get people to stop giving us flowers? ~ Rob, Kingston

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Now that I’m a father I see life has taken on a vased new meaning.”

2) “Perhaps you’ll stop sending flowers if I tell you it was an unplant pregnancy?”

3) “No need for flowers – our angel’s already cute as a botany.”

4) “Another bouquet? Leaf us alone! Water you doing? Soily, you must joking!”

5) “Babies? flowers? I feel daisied and confused!”

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, my friend and I run an arts and crafts program for street youth at our church and are looking for pun ideas to attract the kids to our craft table (and away from the video games table, basketball court and eating area). What can we say and do to lure the youth to us? ~ Jo, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “Tonight’s activity is macrame – something weave all been waiting for!”

2) “Making bracelets – you can’t bead it!”

3) “If you won’t carve wood with us then whittle you do?”

4) “What’s better than smoking up? Getting soap-stoned!”

5) “Stop playing Tomb Raider, and meet the real Lara Craft.”

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...

Dear Pungents, a coworker of mine is stuck in Vancouver waiting to test a software project which – because of our supervisor – is months past due and doesn’t seem to be coming along. What can he say to our boss to get his ass moving on the project? ~ Eric, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

1) “You’re moving slower than my programma!”

2) “Is this beta-testing or wait-a-testing?”

3) “This software delay is an unbearable wait on my folders!”

4) “If you ever leave this job, you can put on your resume that you were a ‘computer notwork supervisor’.”

(Rate This Pun)

Loading...