NED: Did the poet really jump out a building and kill himself on the concrete?
ED: Oh no – that was a met-a-floor.
the arts
When seeing Swan Lake, should you opt forĀ ballet parking?
I went to a comedy show on Hallowe’en. It was a real boohaha!
Do down and out actors end up on skit row?
Many professional sculptors complain of extreme pain when listening to Clay Aiken.
Why was the soprano obsessed with songs that had both length and width?
Because she wanted to sing an area.
ED: Do you like this abstract painting?
NED: No. Modern art makes me want to regurgiTate.
ED: Really?
NED: Yeah, it Turners my stomach.
ED: Oh my.
NED: If you’ll excuse me – now I have to get up Van Gogh to the bathroom!
Haven’t been to Barcelona? That’s painful. You’ve Gaudi go!
Gaugin often repeated himself.
If Monet avoided both situps and jogging, would that make him an abs/track repressionist?