Do sailors have to take courses in anchor management?
psychological disorders
NED: If I grab your ass in a bar, it’s not my fault.
ED: Why’s that?
NED: Because I suffer from copaphilia!
Hear about the man who was forced to go to psychaitrist after starving his pet cat?
He had a Feed-a-puss complex!
Be careful if you sleep too much—you’ll end up deep rest.
What a nice, genial voyeur I met the other day. I mean, he was good peephole!
I was told to watch what I eat, so I swallowed my timepiece. My friends thought I was crazy and recommended I undergo Seiko-anal-lysis. But I wasn’t just going to shit on my hands and wait for time to pass.
NED: I have an irrational fear that Santa will get tossed from his sleigh.
ED: What’s that?
NED: Claustrewphobia!
A newfound cure for depression is esteem bath.
The crazy man who boasted about his second penis must have had delusions of glandeur.
I stopped gambling after reading John Milton’s Pair o Dice Lost.