I was told to watch what I eat, so I swallowed my timepiece. My friends thought I was crazy and recommended I undergo Seiko-anal-lysis. But I wasn’t just going to shit on my hands and wait for time to pass.
I stopped gambling after reading John Milton’s Pair o Dice Lost.
Did you hear about the dyslexic gambler who was addicted to Jack Black movies?
Ashamed of my weight, I eat pies in secret. It’s a flandestine activity.
Are bulimics all bile lingual?
People who dislike comedy clubs suffer from skits-refrainia.
There was an orphan boy who developed a peculiar phobia some time after his parents died: It seems the lad would go into absolute hysterics whenever he saw – get this – a group of musicians chewing fresh wintergreen sprigs!
Psychaitrists were called in, but to no avail: the docs could only explain the boy’s behaviour as a fear of a band on mint.
The crazy man who boasted about his second penis must have had delusions of glandeur.
Do sailors have to take courses in anchor management?
Kleptomaniac amputees take a lot of faux toes.